Recent reviews by Beautiful Banjo

Game kept crashing after I kissed the fat girl. Moral of the story? Fat girls don't deserve love.

Seriously though, you gotta hit the ole Google machine to figure out how to fix this game because it just doesn't work on Windows 10. Once you manage to fix that, the game is awesome.

A really neat idea that I wish someone else would pick up. There's something about mowing down ancients with a machine gun that is so satisfying.

Germany conquers Assyria and Sweden. No one gives a damn.

I take a single city from the Aztecs. [DENOUNCE]

10/10 Would be a warmongering menace to the world again.

I bought the game literally just so I could create a disease called "Hulkamania."

Was completely worth it.

I now have dreams of commiting genocide against Crimeans.

10/10

If you're into realistic shooters, you'll like this game. I mean good Lord, nothing is more realistic than being prone in a mud puddle, and then drowning in said mud puddle.

N-not that I'm actually so much of a noob that happened, of course!...

;_;

This game is amazing, but it WILL piss you off. Especially Chrysalids. Seriously...♥♥♥♥ those things. For the ultimate experience, I recommend naming all of your soldiers after people you know in real life. Hilarity ensues. Such as that time my dad panicked under alien fire and murdered my friend Kyesha. Anyway...

8/10

EDIT
Only "updating" this for a badge.

Gave my son $20 so he'd love me again.

10/10

Came to play instruments, left with PTSD.

I'm really bad at it.

12/10