I played around a bit in singleplayer, drove a car into a tree, and died. Did that three times, then connected to a multiplayer match. I joined the US forces, got flown to the front with a bunch of other guys—and the game was won before I fired a single bullet. Real Jarhead moment.

I joined the next server, but the camp was out of vehicles. My squadmates were shooting at each other. Creepy.

On the next server, there was a guy sitting in his jeep, waiting. He asked where I wanted to go. I said I was new, and he was like, “Alright, let’s do this.”

Another newbie jumped in, and our driver was really into the game. He started talking about God and Country and saving our families from communists. He drove us all the way to an antenna—the most important objective, as he claimed. He said there’d be lots of Soviets and it would be worth the sacrifice. But when we got there, only one of our snipers was guarding the point. It was already ours. Sadly, we ditched the car and started walking. For God and Country.

At that point, I realized our 1950s roleplay dude was probably drunk. Eventually, we found a new car, and I manned the machine gun. He sped straight towards the action. For God and Country. At one point, he asked how I rated his driving. I said it was cool, considering I’d only driven into trees so far. He missed the next turn, crashed us hard, and we all died. For God and Country.