Recent reviews by logfromblammo

Astrox has a nearly non-existent plot line, and very little depth. Your character is a convict laborer in a space prison, which is somehow overrun with 100 pirate ships for every prisoner mining vessel. The only reason to grow more powerful is to mine asteroids faster and murderhobo through stronger pirate fleets. Every level is procedurally generated, and there is significant incentive to just farm pirate spawns instead of genociding them. When reaching the final level, your only option is to continue pointlessly or start over from level 0. The crafting system has 25 recipes, and is a huge sink of time and resources. Everything is geared around "numbers go up". Every time you warp to a new level, there is always an ambush by a huge mob of pirates, sometimes assisted by the mob of pirates waiting to ambush the warp-gate positioned nearby.

There is no replay value. There isn't even any value in finishing one play-through. I am uninstalling and hiding the title in my library, so I don't forget and accidentally give it another try.

This is just as fun to play as it always has been, but a little easier on the eyes and a little more playable with a pointing device.

Two words: loading screen.

It is an overwhelming and obvious insult to the user experience.

On top of that, it simply lacks the enjoyability of previous franchise titles like Sands of Time, Warrior Within, and Two Thrones. The levels are set up to be more open and less on rails, but that just ends up creating backtracking and useless connective areas.

Crashes to desktop constantly, making the game unplayable.

This is a game about pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. Scratch that--swim fin straps.

You start with an advanced molecular-deposition 3-D printer in an escape pod, and your goal is to launch back into space. There are obstacles. If you like games that feature resource gathering and crafting as a core mechanic, you will enjoy this one.

First off, this game is not graphically complex. It consists largely of card-shaped elements that plug into square verb objects that process card recipes. If you don't like to read text boxes to discover the world lore, you will not like this game.

But if the cast and stagehands of your theater-of-the-mind are up to the task, you will discover a world hidden behind our own (and maybe even the one hidden behind that one), accessible only through dream and ritual, uncover the secret histories, and become an immortal in the service of one of the Hours.

The imaginative lore is the best part of the game. On your first play, you will likely flounder a bit trying to figure out what you must to to progress. And once you figure it out, it becomes a repetitive and somewhat tedious intro to every subsequent play. You will always be building up your health, passion, and reason, then acquiring a cushion of funds. Then you will be buying books, reading books, meeting patrons, and making acquaintances. Then you will be starting your cult and recruiting and promoting those acquaintances. Then you will be sending them out on expeditions. And then you will be meeting one of several end-game conditions. The differing legacies that slightly change the starting conditions and endgame goals add some spice for replay, but the grindy bits that happen in every game might be a turn-off for some.

As it happens, I like games with deep lore, so I like Cultist Simulator.

Howdy, pardner.

Ah reckon you oughtter buy this here game right quick, 'fore you lose another minute o' time you coulda spent playin' it.

Now git!

If you ever wanted to play a sci-fi themed Terraria, this game is for you.

If you also wanted it to be half-finished, buggy, and abandoned by the developer, look no further!

This game has a cute story behind it, and an innovative bullet-hell minigame fight mechanic, to keep you from getting through it too quickly.

I guess the secret to making you like the characters is forcing you to learn their intricate boss pattern in detail.

...At least there's always a save point just before a boss fight.

This game is extremely faithful to its franchise, with one difference: its content does not need to adhere to FCC guidelines for television broadcast. When you release Trey Parker and Matt Stone from the chains of censorship, you get South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, and you get South Park: Stick of Truth. The writers are *trying* to offend you. So imagine the most cringeworthy South Park episode you have ever seen, and step it up a notch. Hold it there for a second, and push it even farther. Now you're ready to play, new kid.

Pay no attention to that Ubisoft logo. Focus on the Obsidian Entertainment--the folks that gave you KotOR II, NWN 2, Fallout: New Vegas, and Pillars of Eternity. Apparently, they can do a JRPG. It's replayable, too.