It has come to our attention that students have been vigorously masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is illegal and against school district policy.

The bathroom pipes are not designed to handle human discharge other than your regular bathroom duties

The excessive amount of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. A pipe under the lower B half bathroom has burst because of the excessive semen build-up. This will cost thousands of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage.

Please masturbate in your own homes.

If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to.

YOU ARE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AWESOME!!!! Thank you!!! Happy New Year (now..do i need to play borderlands 1 before this?)

villager! thy taxes are due!

;3