Recent reviews by box

600 hours, still no dead god

Pretty cool, sunk maybe a weekend in

PLEASE READ TO THE END OR ELSE YOU'LL BE CONFUSED
Honestly, I don't recommend this game on its own. Final Fantasy as a franchise has spanned so many console generations we're farther away from the release of the GameCube than how old FF1 was when the GameCube released. The age shows. This was a different time in gaming, back when the length of the game was what determined the worth as a product, not the entertainment value. Games that lasted longer (artificially or no) were always considered the most bang for your buck, whether you're buying it for your kid or putting it up for rent in every Blockbuster in America. This game is a slot, random encounters every 4 seconds that range from overly punishing in the first few hours to downright insultingly easy halfway through. Enemies don't scale to progress, which is most evident when you reach the final stretch of the Shrine of Chaos where you can one shot every non Black Flan enemy in a single turn with a standard attack from a WHITE MAGE. Honestly 4 steps for an encounter you insta win with the Auto-Battle feature sounds more like a mobile Idle game than a JRPG, and it plays the same way. The only time I was truly challenged was on the final boss, but only because it has a FULL HEAL MOVE. If you aren't fast enough, all your progress and all the hi-ethers you've been hording (not out of necessity but because they're generally useless outside of boss encounters) have gone to waste. All of this isn't even mentioning how much of a methane-spewing crawl through a tar pit that achieving 100% feels like. Ever wanted to shiny hunt a pokemon without the satisfaction of having a different colored jpeg and one shooting the enemy with your over leveled Knight? Try completing the bestiary! There's two less than 5% encounters that take place in and next to the final rooms of their dungeons respectively. Seriously, why is the Iron Golem a 1.4% encounter rate?
You might be thinking "Why are you recommending this game if you don't recommend it in the text?" For it's historical value of course. Final Fantasy as a franchise is old enough to where their kids (sequels and spinoffs) could feasibly be in High School, college, hell maybe even vote or have kids of their own! Final Fantasy 7 has its own spinoff game, movie, remake (that's not a remake it's a sequel but whatever) spinoff that GOT a remake, mobile game, etc. It's such a transcendent experience to play through the beginnings of the franchise that defined mine and the two generations before my childhoods. Seeing enemies like the Sagahin knowing they'll blossom into their own beast tribe in 14, seeing the Gnomes knowing that they'll influence the Tarutarus and Lalafells in both the MMOs, seeing the origins of my favorite class Red Mage (that ended up being ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in this game specifically), having an NPC throw out the name Cid and being like "I know that guy! All of the Cids from 2-15!" It's fun to retroactively piece together the beginning of so many references and tropes in the series, and fighting chaos, though a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fight, legitimately felt like an accomplishment when I got that final toe curling ass clenching hit that triggered the oh so satisfying cross hatch fadeout. I cannot stress this enough, FF1 IS NOT FUN! However, if you're a FF fan and you want to see the beginning of it all, please play FF1. Just don't finish the bestiary ;)

Monster Hunter is a pretty consistent series overall, and even though I played it on switch, I didn't get what made Rise so good until it didnt make my eyes bleed with 30 fps. Though World is technically a fuller game, with more monsters, equipment, events, items, locales, subspecies, etc, Rise is the better game overall because of how much silkbinds and wirebugs add both to the simplicity and complexity of the combat. Definitely give this a try at the least if you're in the mood for a fun way to burn time on the weekends or before work.

For anyone who fell off the world on accident, it was just a skill issue, get over it nerd

Campaign isn't out yet but so far the multiplayer has been fun, but severely flawed. Compared to Halo 3 (the only viable comp Halo so far), the time to kill is way quicker and the AR and Sidearm (this game's magnum) have their own unique AR pop armor to Sidearm quick one tap combo, as opposed to Halo 3's true combo of "Drop AR pick up BR win the game". All in all the weapons are really balanced, with some weird outliers like the fact the Commando is worse at popping armor than the AR and is worse at headshot bursts than the BR, sitting at a low tier mess of a rifle compared to Halo 4's DMR that was a slightly better DPS but with worst Burst than the BR. All in all this game has the Mangler so it's a 10/10.

I felt as though an angel descended from the heavens when I first laid eyes on this game, but as it seems with all miracles, there was a catch. The fun, addicting gameplay and album modes were a major draw in buying the game, as I could presumably catch some anime ass if I full cleared the game, so I went all out. To clear the Shiba Inus from the screen and cop me some thick anime thighs, I put on my "Get Smoked" cap and went to work, drinking a full bucket of G-Fuel (use code Keemstar at checkout) and speedrunning the game to find my way to perfect Cute Honey lewd Nirvana. Something that became quite apparent, however, is that after every stage done, it would give an option to view a picture. However, the option was a duller color than the rest, so my gamer instincts fired warning shots in my head that something was off. I wasn't deterred however, for my gaming prowess allowed me to full clear the first stage with no hints or skips in 2 minutes. I continued until the entire game was cleared, taking 40 minutes in total as I also completed 3 more files to fill out the "Continue" tab with perfect 0 hint 0 skip runs. What shocked me, however, is that all the Shibus stayed in tact, and the album wasn't open to view. Bewildered and still slightly horny, I checked on the steam discussions. Apparently, this game required a patch to be fully experienced in its true degenerate man of culture glory. Safe to say, I wasn't going to risk a virus to see what I could just look up on Bing images and see at any time. Safe to say my disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. I can still see that damn Shiba Inu staring me down at night, censoring my ceiling fan, realistic animatronic sex doll with vibrating clit action, the sex slave I keep in the closet, and even my own Johnson. I highly suggest you look up the pictures for this instead of playing this cheap sugar sugar knockoff, or you too will have your life ruined by this malicious good boi.
Addendum: October 5th, 2020. It has been a full month and a half since the shiba started appearing in my dreams. Slowly, it replaced everything I know and love in life with the same picture of the smiling Shiba Inu. It even destroyed my relationship with my girlfriend, i couldn't get it up anymore and she decided to leave me for a kid named "Jamal" who walked by our house every morning on the way to elementary school. Gold digger always out for massive ♥♥♥♥, it was bound to happen anyways due to my crippling anime thigh addiction. My job is on the fritz too, there's no way they'll let me back in after I smashed that plate over our coworker's head because her pants had a Shiba Inu print on it. I really ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up, she was my only friend there. I wish there was some way to remove this good boi from my memories, I just want some sort of sexual stimuli but I am denied even the soft plush thighs I used to retreat to in times of crisis. I will keep you posted on how things will go on from here on out.

Four years ago, I dumped 100 hours into this game. 3 Years ago they released an update that severely hindered my enjoyment. Parts had to be opened from cases which took money to buy, instead of bought by in game currency without any bs RNG getting in the way. It still hasn't recovered from this change, so in one update, this game went from my favorite game to sink time into just another P2W dumpsterfire that has yet to pique my interest again.

One of the best games I've ever played. It's not too difficult and very slow paced, but that's the point of the game. It's supposed to be a calming, casual game where the only goal is only to make the people around you happier when they leave the bar as when they enter. Honestly, if there was a paid DLC for this game adding a whole new story with the same love and the same heart as the original, I'd pay top dollar for it.

This game is the exact thing as the title. Garry's Mod is a mod on the Source engine where basically it's a sandbox, hide and seek, first person shooter, horror, or roleplaying game depending on what gamemode you play. It's an overwhelmingly good experience for everybody to enjoy.