Why are people on Steam so mean?

[CandyGamer73]

I had recently lost a good friend on Steam. It made me so upset knowing that they probably don't like me and don't want anything to do with me. We had played a game together and we didn't fight or do anything like that. And so it got me thinking, why are people on Steam the most toxic and the most rudest people ever? I'm not one for being rude. But people like to be rude to me when I haven't done anything to them. So, I just want to know why people on Steam are just mean to one another.

PS: Can any Moderator of Vavle lock this please?

[nullable]

Not my experience. But some communities are more toxic, yes. But if you're claiming that anywhere you go and everyone you meet is rude and mean, well... it sounds like you're the common denominator there and maybe that warrants some scrutiny.

Sure, people can be quite awful. Try not to forget your just a person too.

Aside from that it depends on the circumstances. Maybe you need to be a bit more choosey about who you're friends with and what communities you participate in.

[CandyGamer73]

Originally posted by Brockenstein:

Not my experience. But some communities are more toxic, yes. But if you're claiming that anywhere you go and everyone you meet is rude and mean, well... it sounds like you're the common denominator there and maybe that warrants some scrutiny.

Sure, people can be quite awful. Try not to forget your just a person too.

Aside from that it depends on the circumstances. Maybe you need to be a bit more choosey about who you're friends with and what communities you participate in.

That friend who unfriended me was someone who played the same game as me and I thought we were meant to be since they friend requested me first. We talked and we didn't fight. At, all. So that's why I made this discussion. So I could say "Hey, why is everyone I know on Steam an absolute jerk?".

[cinedine]

So he just unfriended you? And you call them toxic and rude?

[CandyGamer73]

Originally posted by cinedine:

So he just unfriended you? And you call them toxic and rude?

We had played together and we didn't say to each other "I don't want to work with them.". We really made a great team together and we made friends with each other. So I don't know why he didn't want to be friends with me anymore.

[ShelLuser]

So... just because one person unfriended you you're suddenly concluding that the entirety of Steam is mean and toxic... right. And then you expect friendly comments from those who you just basically accused of being toxic and mean, even if you never had any interaction with them at all? How should that work?

Alas, can't say I have the same experiences. I've met quite a few Steam friends and while some are more casual than others I've also had the pleasure of meeting up with people who I've come to trust a bit more. Even so, in the end these are still "Steam friends" for me, with a few notable exceptions with who I've exchanged contact information and we also keep in touch a bit outside of Steam. But those are very rare exceptions.

And of course I've also come across nasties. Spammers, trolls and just rude people. For those there's an excellent Steam feature called the "block option". Block once and don't worry about 'm anymore.

So yah, I wouldn't worry about just one person, there are millions more around here. Who knows!

[CandyGamer73]

Originally posted by ShelLuser:

So... just because one person unfriended you you're suddenly concluding that the entirety of Steam is mean and toxic... right. And then you expect friendly comments from those who you just basically accused of being toxic and mean, even if you never had any interaction with them at all? How should that work?

Alas, can't say I have the same experiences. I've met quite a few Steam friends and while some are more casual than others I've also had the pleasure of meeting up with people who I've come to trust a bit more. Even so, in the end these are still "Steam friends" for me, with a few notable exceptions with who I've exchanged contact information and we also keep in touch a bit outside of Steam. But those are very rare exceptions.

And of course I've also come across nasties. Spammers, trolls and just rude people. For those there's an excellent Steam feature called the "block option". Block once and don't worry about 'm anymore.

So yah, I wouldn't worry about just one person, there are millions more around here. Who knows!

I made this to see if other people feel the same way as me so I don't feel alone in the world. I just can't believe they wouldn't tell me they don't want to be friends with me even though we got along really well. And you're a- A COMMUNITY LEADER?! Oh my god... I have no words.

[Mad Scientist]

Originally posted by CandyGamer73:

Originally posted by ShelLuser:

So... just because one person unfriended you you're suddenly concluding that the entirety of Steam is mean and toxic... right. And then you expect friendly comments from those who you just basically accused of being toxic and mean, even if you never had any interaction with them at all? How should that work?

Alas, can't say I have the same experiences. I've met quite a few Steam friends and while some are more casual than others I've also had the pleasure of meeting up with people who I've come to trust a bit more. Even so, in the end these are still "Steam friends" for me, with a few notable exceptions with who I've exchanged contact information and we also keep in touch a bit outside of Steam. But those are very rare exceptions.

And of course I've also come across nasties. Spammers, trolls and just rude people. For those there's an excellent Steam feature called the "block option". Block once and don't worry about 'm anymore.

So yah, I wouldn't worry about just one person, there are millions more around here. Who knows!

I made this to see if other people feel the same way as me so I don't feel alone in the world. I just can't believe they wouldn't tell me they don't want to be friends with me even though we got along really well. And you're a- A COMMUNITY LEADER?! Oh my god... I have no words.

I'm not sure if you're trolling, or way too emotional of a person - if the second that was likely the issue in the first place between you and your friend.

People don't want to be around buzzkills or overly emotional people as it ruins the fun for them, whatever happened between you and your friend is the business of you two. Making a thread just looking for people to agree with your warped view of the entire community because a friend you used to have, is really messed up. People on here are fine, the fortnite/league community are far more toxic.

This is the problem with the newer generations; you all want to make tweets, forum posts, or otherwise areas where you look for hand holding and only hand holding of each other, anything else you start acting like you are now. The internet is a place where you'll see and hear things you don't like or may find offensive, the internet is vast and full of people with varying levels of thought, often from different countries where culture itself is immensely different.

Personal issues should stay off of the Steam forum, it has nothing to do with the community or Steam itself. Your negative experience doesn't provide an excuse to blanket the entire community as rude or toxic.

This may all seem not great for you to read, but you need to see it, understand it, and move on without responding with emotion. Take it in, don't respond to my post if you don't like what I'm saying or you're getting angry - as that's part of the problem - people do as they do, they think differently than you, and often operate in more civil ways. Stay civil, keep personal matters to yourself, realize not everything needs to be tweeted, posted, or otherwise. Heck a mod might not like me writing this, it's however not meant to be argumentative, nor rude - it's just meant to help you be better for yourself and for others.

The more upset you are over little things, the more you need to work on yourself and your interactions online, and with other people.

[Gallifrey - CSSC Gaming Founder]

Hi Candy Gamer,

I think the issue here is "alone in the world". I'm deducing that you're probably socially isolated in some way so the loss of a friend may have meant more to you.

A number of issues: -

1) Friendships on the net tend to be very transactional so people find it easy to flip away from relationships they no longer desire.

2) I had someone looking for friends, I befriended them, we played some Borderlands, and later they unfriended me. No big deal. Obviously I wasn't delivering what they wanted.

3) You probably need to develop real world friendships - they tend to be more robust. Although as they say horse sense is what stops a horse betting on people. A lot of people turn out to have unpleasant sides to their personalities when you get to know them. There again nobody's perfect.

The internet permits bad behaviour because the social sanctions are far less than in the real world. Your friend probably doesn't hate you. If you're short of friends it might have made you a bit intense and demanding in the relationship.

Steam is full of people - the good, the bad, and an awful lot of ugly. It's a bit of a jungle. Either tread lightly - accepting people come and go - or don't tread at all.

S.x.

PS. Your friend's account might have got hacked. Lot of it about.

[CandyGamer73]

Orion, I am not trolling or trying to push the toxic people under the bus. But I'm here to tell people a message that says "Don't get to close to people." or "Be a little nicer to others.". I'm a moody person, and it makes it hard for me to get along with people because of my moodiness. People like to look at me as their punching bag. And so I'm just a person who is lonely and wants to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me because I "Talk a lot" from what I've heard from people.

But like what Gallifrey said, I'm socially isolated. And I'm moody too. So it makes it hard for me. I wish people would understand me, but they don't want to listening to me because all they want is just some stupid memes and crap.

[☆ƧQυiяяєL♫]

Originally posted by CandyGamer73:

.... and I thought we were meant to be...

Let that person go and move on.

I've had a few people start up a Steam chat every time my Steam online stat went live.
That's annoying, especially when they expect me to carry the convo they started.
Those are clingy people and are not "friends"


Yes. I do have "friends" on Steam, I usually join them on their stream schedule, we talk, hang out and have fun. Sometimes they'll send me a Steam chat message, I respond with something funny or if they're online, we'll chat a bit, I'll send them pics of stuff I bought or funny selfies and that's that.

And, there were others with decent conversations but they're meh.
When they unfriended me, it was expected.


Then the few I regret crossing paths with.
I should've not accepted their invite or I should've unfriended them as soon I sensed red flags about them. Stalker types.

Once more, let it go and move on.

[cSg|mc-Hotsauce]

People online come and go for various reasons.

Don't take it harshly.

[Abs]

I would of dropped you to with your woe is me attitude, People weren't put on steam to be your entertainment.

[Mad Scientist]

Originally posted by CandyGamer73:

Orion, I am not trolling or trying to push the toxic people under the bus. But I'm here to tell people a message that says "Don't get to close to people." or "Be a little nicer to others.". I'm a moody person, and it makes it hard for me to get along with people because of my moodiness. People like to look at me as their punching bag. And so I'm just a person who is lonely and wants to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me because I "Talk a lot" from what I've heard from people.

But like what Gallifrey said, I'm socially isolated. And I'm moody too. So it makes it hard for me. I wish people would understand me, but they don't want to listening to me because all they want is just some stupid memes and crap.

Telling people not to get close to people because of one incident, does not justify telling everyone not to do the same. Steam Friends likely aren't that close anyway, but as pointed out by another:

Originally posted by Abs:

I would of dropped you to with your woe is me attitude, People weren't put on steam to be your entertainment.

I would've dropped you for the same reason.

OP -You're still coming along just as someone that is only thinking of themselves and not others, and you've not learned to control your attitude or realize how you are to others. If you talk a lot - nonstop - learn when a filter is needed, when too much information is exactly that, and how often you utilize the entirety of a conversation, which is called a one-way ruling not so much a friendship.

Being isolated is not an excuse, if theyre into different things, humor or otherwise then find people with more similar views or interests as yourself. Don't play it as if you're a victim.

[Crazy Tiger]

Originally posted by CandyGamer73:

But like what Gallifrey said, I'm socially isolated. And I'm moody too. So it makes it hard for me. I wish people would understand me, but they don't want to listening to me because all they want is just some stupid memes and crap.

Have you considered that people might just want to play a game and not talk too much?

Always keep in mind that just because you had fun in a game with someone, it doesn't mean you're suddenly "meant to be" or that you're great friends. You might be coming on a bit too strong there. It might simply be a case of the other person sending you a friend request to game a bit occassionally and not talk too heavy.

It also doesn't mean that the other person was toxic or mean. It simply means they're a human who have different wants or needs.

I don't know the situation exactly, just trying to give a different perspective here.

[CandyGamer73]

Originally posted by Orion:

Originally posted by CandyGamer73:

Orion, I am not trolling or trying to push the toxic people under the bus. But I'm here to tell people a message that says "Don't get to close to people." or "Be a little nicer to others.". I'm a moody person, and it makes it hard for me to get along with people because of my moodiness. People like to look at me as their punching bag. And so I'm just a person who is lonely and wants to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me because I "Talk a lot" from what I've heard from people.

But like what Gallifrey said, I'm socially isolated. And I'm moody too. So it makes it hard for me. I wish people would understand me, but they don't want to listening to me because all they want is just some stupid memes and crap.

Telling people not to get close to people because of one incident, does not justify telling everyone not to do the same. Steam Friends likely aren't that close anyway, but as pointed out by another:

Originally posted by Abs:

I would of dropped you to with your woe is me attitude, People weren't put on steam to be your entertainment.

I would've dropped you for the same reason.

OP -You're still coming along just as someone that is only thinking of themselves and not others, and you've not learned to control your attitude or realize how you are to others. If you talk a lot - nonstop - learn when a filter is needed, when too much information is exactly that, and how often you utilize the entirety of a conversation, which is called a one-way ruling not so much a friendship.

Being isolated is not an excuse, if theyre into different things, humor or otherwise then find people with more similar views or interests as yourself. Don't play it as if you're a victim.

I should have just stuck with Brockkenstein. Now I feel like it's my fault I even made this all happen. Can we just end the discussion here? I feel sick... I don't want to talk anymore.