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chill
Fiddle with the settings until it's bearable.
To navigate the menu, hit Tab until the switch for Enable is highlighted, then hit Enter again.
You can now control the mouse using the numpad. 5 is left-click, 0 is right-click and the other numbers will navigate the pointer.
You are welcome!
edit: Oh, it also uses accelleration, as it is hard to get precision with keys, so at first it may seem like it's not moving at all. You need to hold the key down for a bit. A bit tricky to get used to. You want the speed and accelleration turned WAAAAY up.
You can also enable Ctrl and Shift mode, which will let you hold Ctrl to speed up even more or Shift to slow down for even better precision.
Competitive games draw jerks. That's just how it is.
What's funny is that the leaderboard is full of cheaters so I'm not sure what the point in being competitive is lol.