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I've played multiplayer exclusively with random people and had little to no problems.
It all depends on the host.
If in doubt, host a lobby yourself or ask a host what the ground rules are when joining a lobby, so you know what you are getting into.
There are as many people looking for serious lobbies as there are people looking for traitorous lobbies.
Favorite servers that you enjoy and look out for them! It's the best way!
TLDR
The game has a diverse and inviting community, look for new player friendly lobbies!
It's a fun game system and the devs are doing a fine job with it, but it suffers from the fact that it is a great multiplayer game to play with other people, and more and more these days people make a game out of playing in bad faith for the purpose of ruining games for others.
I'm going to be honest I really love this game and know that griefing is a problem for a lot of new players, but there are a lot of good players and good servers out there and the game just isn't as fun without them.
EDIT: Yall are welcome to add me, I hop on regularly to host a campaign progression on different ships. We are currently on the Berilia.
I disagree with the group number if your planning to do campaign and are moving up it prolly wont take that long to get better subs. Same with the naming, the names does not effect the number or amount of greifing.
I think what Samael is getting at is that the title of the lobby is often a reflection of the hosts maturity.
For example if you go into a lobby titled "Dookey" you shouldn't expect much... but something like "New Campaign" implies a potentially better lobby.
He also mentions the # of players vs sub recommended number. I strongly suggest focusing on lobbies between 6-8 players. 10 is managable with a good host.