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and remember, MP in NMS is "playing solo together"...
Never had any issues with multiplayer. Was playing multiplayer with friends yesterday without problem. Only once did I have to reconnect when my internet connection failed.
I just started the game and from the multiplayer screen and selected my friend on the No Man's Sky friends list. (we'd already exchanged friend codes). We are both playing in the same mode and all settings the same. No mods either.
About bases: There may be a possible delay having uploaded a base for it to be downloadable from the server but I never had any issue with that and simply restarted the game. It may help to be sure you have matching base settings in a group so you see the same objects at the same time.
1. He had uploaded the base
2. We were both friended and in a group
For us the solution was to go to the Anomaly, wait until my friend got there, then from the Anomaly teleporter under the Groups tab I could see my friends bases listed. Click on the one I wanted to go to and have it start downloading. Once it was downloaded I could portal to it and every one of his bases outside of the Anomaly teleporter (His bases then became reachable from normal teleporters)
So we ended up playing Valheim 42 hours already this week, theme is different, but at least multiplayer doesnt suck.
I see it makes sense then. I did not research the game before purchasing. I've expected something Like Starbound with Frackin Universe mods(which I really like). Perhaps in couple more years multiplayer of NMS will be better.