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If you're getting the message "Downloading..." Then go to your "Discoveries" Tab. Look at the bottom and see if it tells you if Discover Services are "offline" or not.
It is likely that you are simply not retrieving recent changes in the universe. It happens. They are probably doing some remote changes - and the take the discovery services offline for a while to do those.
Make sure he has his base settings so Friends / group can see it, etc. Make sure you both have Network mode Enabled - even joining each other's game may get screwy if you don't have it enabled I've noticed.
Just a few things to check. I'm sure others may hop in here with some other ideas.
Many is the time I was able to discover a rendezvous system and planets (which HG discovered) because the server was not feeding me up to date data. It fixes itself eventually but it is not instant by any stretch of the imagination.