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There you can choose to go neutral/friendly/enemy.
Btw, in order to be able to do this you must not tick the 'lock teams' box.
In multiplayer games sure you can change it all you want, unless the game restricts you not to.(there is an option to lock diplomacy as it is at start)
Oh and also I suggest you try multiplayer, you can host a game, name it "Comp Stomp" and then set it as humans vs AI. I just found out today that by being the host I don't get lag (and neither do others) and it is much more fun and you can play around with diplomacy more with real players. The comp stomp games are fun to me since they remove the intimidation of playing against someone too good.