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What sort of, "suspicious circumstances"?
Also, if you google certain keywords pertaining to cheating, you'll quickly find discussions focused around the DayOne servers, and they're the only servers I've read about that are often talked about in those circles
I don't know about any of the things you mentioned, I'd have to do some Googling, myself. But unless there is rampant cheating going on I don't just let a couple mentions of cheating get to me. Every server gets cheaters. And on a good server they usually get banned pretty quickly.
As for what you said about people trying to talk to you when they couldn't have known you were there, it's entirely possible that they tried talking to you because they know it's a good spot for someone to sit and attempted to talk to you just to see if anyone answered. I don't know what you mean by, "startled" you, though.
Servers discord: https://discord.gg/uxMbB2DK