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Aw, bless. Admittedly I had a habit of setting them off just for the sake of it when they first appeared in the game, even though it usually meant only getting chased by zombies. For your sake I hope you manage to stumble across one or two soon!
Haha, sounds like me. As a console player in the main, I'm tragic with a mouse & keyboard, so probably the only person trying to play the PC version with an Xbox controller that isn't even supported. So I try to avoid others like the plague... I quickly learnt that trying to roleplay a bit gets you nowhere on DayZ's official servers.