The seamless cheat mod is finally gone!

[echo_ML]

The seamless cheat mod is finally gone.
It's finally gone! With the release of Miyazaki's new grand DLC, the cheat mod that Co-Opers use to cheese the game and avoid invaders is finally broken.

So, i wan't to preface this by saying that all the Seemless cultists and trolls and what not need to leave, because you're not wanted here and this discussion isn't for you.

Nobody likes cheaters, in any game, so the way these scrubs cheat and hide from invaders with they're little mod is pathetic, but for some reason people giving them the pass all the time. It's ridiculous and i'm glad Fromsoftware is shutting down the mod with the DLC. Mitazaki is truly a blessing and a man of the people when it comes to his games!

So, i will now list all of the common arguments these cultists will bring up, and address them individually.

1: PvP is not a core element of tha souls series

2: Fromsoftware's multiplayer design is bad/outdated

3: Seamless Co-op is not cheatinh

Yeah no lmao. 'Sup fellas. It's The Moth. If you're new 'round the forum and don't know me, just know this post isn't to be taken seriously. Now enjoy the rest of it.

In our last broadcast, we checked in with Dr God, professor at Leyndell University, and his 2023 study on the effects of Seamless Co-Op on the populace of The Lands Between. His conclusion was that roughly 1.6 million Invaders, Furled Fingers, And Hunters had been put out of jobs as a result of this mod's development. But, how have these numbers changed now that we're in 2024 and with a DLC around the corner?

Well, recently we asked a dear friend and patron of channel 12, The Ever-Brilliant Goldmask, to conduct some research on this topic since Dr God is... Uhhh... Where did he go lmao? Anyway, Goldmask reported back to us with some shocking info. Well, it wasn't really a report... He just came into the studio and slowly shifted his arms around over the course of 15 days, but I think we caught the gist of it.

According to Goldmask, with the approach of the DLC and the influx of new players, there has been a surge in Seamless Co-Op activity and a sharp decline in vanilla multiplayer activity. The rate of unemployment in The Lands Between has skyrocketed from 14.37% to a now whopping 36.82%. Thats more than double!

However, as with our last broadcast, you should know by now that numbers aren't everything. Which is why we've assembled some first hand accounts of the effects of the seemless co-op mod on our society. Here's Alberich, lead corespondent for channel 12, back at it in Mohgwyn palace with Luminary Mohg for an interview!

"Hey there, Tarnished warriors!" Alberich adjusted his microphone a bit as he faced the camera. "As I'm sure the moth briefed you, seamless has had an overall negative effect on The Land's Between, and that issue can be most apparently seen here in Mohgywn Palace." A small shockwave rumbles the camera.

"ALBERICH! THERES MORE WAVES OF GOLD!" Mohg shouted from across the room. "They're here! More of them!"

Alberich cleared his throat and calmly walked over to Mohg. "So, Mohg. How are things here, since the inception of Seamless Co-Op?"

"W-what?" Mohg stutters and stumbles backwards, slowly shifting to Miquella's coocoon. "You asked me this last time! Yeah dude, it sucks, invader unemployment and ♥♥♥♥ and the albinauric genocide, but DUDE! THEY ARE MAKING THEIR WAY UP THE PALACE! We need to address this right now!"

"Mhm." Alberich jots something down, then looks back up at Mohg. "So, Luminary, why do you think these Co-Oper's want from you? Are you hiding some sort of Seamless upgrade?"

Mohg yanks his trident out of the ground. "No! I wouldn't touch that mod with a 20 foot pole!"

Alberich peers a bit closer at Mohg's trident. "I'm sorry, but did your trident get bigger since our last interview?"

Mohg's eyes flit back and forth, and he covers his trident behind his back. "What? No. Of course not. Who told you that? Ridiculous..."

Alberich clicks his tongue and turns to the camera, whispering. "Told you guys he was compensating..." He turns back to Mohg again. "So, what do you think they're after?"

"They're probably trying to take my dear Miquella." Mohg crosses his arms and shakes his head. "Thats literally, like, kidnapping. A federal crime."

Alberich's eyes slowly shift to Miquella, and then back to Mohg. "Right."

Another, stronger tremor shakes the palace.

"Oh Godfrey, they're getting closer!" Mohg steps back again and readies his trident. Y'know, Alberich, if my nephew Dragonirian were here, I know he'd destroy these Co-Opers easy. But he's still in the slammer with war criminals like Alby! The hell's up with that?" Mohg scoffs. "At least I know you're here with me, Alberich."

Alberich begins to slowly pull a finger severer out of his pocket.

"Alright, I'm ready, let's-" Mohg's eyes land on Alberich's severer. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"Our interview's over. Thank you so much for your input, Luminary. Back to you, Echo!"

"What, you can't-" three figures step through the fogwall. "Oh no, they're here! Alberich, you gotta help me!" Mohg says in a panic, as golden bands wreath around him, binding him to the ground. "ALBERICH! THEY'VE GOT COMET AZUR! HELP! ALBERICH-"

The footage cuts to static as Alberich leaves.





So, uhmmm. That was definitely something.

flips through notes

I don't think Mohglester really gave us the info we needed there. Which is why our next interview is going with several beloved local businesses directly affected by this epedemic. Alberich is down in the Church of Elleh now.





Alberich adjusts his hat and smiles. "Welcome back folks." He sits down next to a campfire, surrounded by several other people. "We're here with Kalé, President of the Nomadic Merchants, Patches, CEO of Patches' Emporium, and Blackguard Big Boggart, famous for his seafood restaurant in Leyndell."

Boggart suddenly grabs the microphone from Alberich. "This is sum bloody bullshite, I tell ye what! I'm feckin homeless now! And bankrupt! I owe 320,000 runes to the LRS!"

Kalé coughs and wrestles the mic out of Boggart's hand. "AHEM. Please pardon my associate's vulgar language. He's british. But he's also right. After all, nobody needs to buy our stuff anymore. Since they're already cheating with Seamless, they might as well use more cheat mods."

Kalé sighs and hands the microphone to Patches. "Right. This is the most absurd ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ever. Cheating bastards getting out of paying their right dues for our ♥♥♥♥!"

Kalé covers his face. "Ugh. He's british too..."

Suddenly, brilliant lights begin to streak across the sky. The night is now illuminated with hundreds of stars streaking across the sky.

"Woah." Kalè looks up. "Wow. They really killed Radahn."

Patches looks up in shock. "What? Radahn?"

"Indeed. They say Radahn held back the stars to deny his fate of becoming a slave to a femboy."

Alberich turns to peer at the camera. "Something isn't right here folks. Why are the Kevins suddenly going after optional bosses? This doesn't make sense. Might be worth looking into."

Suddenly, a single star streaks a bit too close to the ground, causing a massive explosion across limgrave and shaking the earth.

Alberich laughs and grabs his finger severer. "Well, thanks for the interview lads, but we really ought to be going." He tips his hat. "See ya soon!"

"Wait, wha-" Patches trembles. "You can't just leave! What's going on? ALBERICH-"

The screen fades to static once again.







Well, there we have it. Another first hand account of the seamless curse. Now, for our next-

A phone starts ringing on a desk across the room.

Alberich, can you get that?

"What? No! Echo, I have glintstone growing in my brain, the carian data services give me headaches."

Ugh, fine. Walks over and picks up the phone Hello~?

A smooth yet cold voice speaks. "Hello. This is channel twelve news station, correct?"

Uhmmm, yeah. This is Echo. The hostess.

"Good. I've been watching, and i've seen your discussions of these "seamless users." If you'd permit me, i'd like to make an announcement to The Lands Between, including these people."

Uh, sure. Go right ahead! As long as it's not a murder confession. Or admitting you use Mimic Tear. Wouldn't want anyone to suffer than kind of embarrassment on live Television! Sitcom laughter around the office

The voice breathes heavily. "Very well. This is a message to anyone intending to reach the Shadowed Lands. My name is Messmer. You can run, hide, and fight as much as you wish. But there is no escape, and nothing can prepare you for eighteen inches of The Impaler! Not even your mods! HAHAHAHA!" The call cuts off.

Stares at the phone for a minute, ans then looks up. I'm sorry, was that a death threat or sexual harassment? cough Whatever it was, it was weird.

And so, that is why the seamless mod is evil and we should all be glad it's gone, and hopefully for good this time. All the cheaters can whine whine whine all they want, but their age is over! Now comes the age of invaders!

Thank you Mitchell Zuké for banning the seamless mod!

[Vermilion Knight]

I ain't reading an Elden Ring forums fan-fiction story fam...

[Mr. Swoon]

I think you need to see a therapist.

[Mamluks]

This is Genghis Khan level hating right here

[Mei]

Seek help.

[Lord Bob]

Getting your "scientific" data from the Goldmask is the worst you can do. I mean come on now, he's the Golden Order's top guy, you should never trust the government.

[Sothis]

Moth... why.

You know the banhammers don't care that you are making jokes.

[echo_ML]

Originally posted by Mamluks:

This is Genghis Khan level hating right here

No, sorry that would be Drago. He's not with us anymore

[Umbral Priestess]

Fanfiction.

[echo_ML]

Originally posted by Umbral Priestess:

Originally posted by Vermilion Knight:

I ain't reading an Elden Ring forums fan-fiction story fam...

Yeah, especially not from a salty boy who's mad he can't grief others.

it just needs to be updated, if you think it's going to be "gone" you are far more delusional then i thought.

Seamless is cheating and negative to the community. You can't argue with facts.

[Goro]

this is smth sir gideon ofnir the all-knowing would say.

[Clockwork]

Originally posted by Sothis:

Moth... why.

You know the banhammers don't care that you are making jokes.

For a moment I really thought OP was serious. Thank you.

[scoous]

Odd don

[Yard-Dog®]

'Cringe' is an understatement.

🤮

[Umbral Priestess]

Originally posted by echo_ML:

Originally posted by Umbral Priestess:

Yeah, especially not from a salty boy who's mad he can't grief others.

it just needs to be updated, if you think it's going to be "gone" you are far more delusional then i thought.

Seamless is cheating and negative to the community. You can't argue with facts.

Your bait almost worked, but your post was too long to skim through, i've figured you out already.

[echo_ML]

Originally posted by Twisty:

Hey, do you have a neckbeard and anime figurines by any chance?

Messmer is sitting on my desk, and duh i have a neckbeard i am A MOTH there is floof all over me. It's a onsie-beard.