Wish I knew what to say here. Feels like something is wrong, feels like somethings being hidden, feels like something terrible has happened or is going to happen. I put myself out there wanting transparency but sometimes feels like its not there. My heart is scarred and my brain is scrambled but I still try my hardest to give all the love I can only to feel like it isn't enough. Everything hurts when I think but not thinking isn't an option because of how much I have to try and keep their attention so that I'm not forgotten or being broken. I try to voice my emotions and thoughts but it feels as if it goes out one ear into the other. I'm happy but scared, afraid, worried, and insecure. I've been hurt so many times that it feels as if so many wrong things are happening. I have concerns but feels like they get pushed under the rug or given false answers, or half truth'd to avoid the topic. I'm trying my damndest to keep moving further but the quicksand of life makes it harder and harder. I can't voice it to anyone but myself because my friends left, I don't want to be this way, I want to be different. I will continue to give out my love and support to my partner and keep trying my best to be the person they love and be grateful everyday if they still choose me. I have more to write but I'll save it for another day..