Recent reviews by Jess

monke mode

This is the first entry into the Modern Warfare side of Call of Duty since Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered (2016) (technically if you want to get literal its Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (2011)) and by god has it been a while. We haven't had a "realistic" COD shooter for YEARS and finally we bounce back with one of the best looking and best feeling shooters in a long while. The campaign is phenomenal (however it is worth noting that the campaign is broken, especially on the steam release and will require some finicking around to work properly) and the best sliding movement in a modern shooter period. Honestly? This and Black Ops Cold War are probably the only modern COD games you need or should get unless MWIII is any good (it won't be). Now time for the copy pasted template ♥♥♥♥:

---{ Graphics }---
☑ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☑ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☑ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☑ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War is, at the time of writing this review, the most recent Call of Duty game to wear the Black Ops moniker, and yet manages to be the best game in this subsection of Call of Duty. Excluding the BO1 and BO2 comparisons, as the sheer age of both those titles make them unfair and unfit for comparison, that leaves us with BO3 and BO4. BO3 is a ♥♥♥♥ game, its fun, but its a ♥♥♥♥ game. Its the perfect ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, whereas BO4 felt like a beta warzone, which it kinda was. But both those games have something in common, a lack of a "campaign". While BO3 technically has a campaign, it is so laughably bad and last-gen ports didn't even include it, whereas BO4 completely for-went having a campaign to push beta WarZone. Cold War has a campaign, and perhaps one of the best campaigns in recent cod memory, connecting the storyline to BO1 while still remaining to be its own unique thing. I know the fact that this game does many things that may turn people off from it, such as forgoing the normal stunt of Black Ops games being "futuristic" and being more grounded as well as somewhat ruining the timeline by including Captain Price from the Modern Warfare series as an operator, or even the inclusion of visible health bars. Some may see this as Black Ops becoming Modern Warfare, but this couldn't be further from the truth. For the first time in Black Ops history, this game embraces what separated Black Ops from Modern Warfare by being the most fun and enjoyable arcadey shooter in recent memory. Now its time for the stupid copy pasted review template:
---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☑ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☑ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☑ 9
☐ 10

This really is an Ultra Deluxe version on a classic game. It's the entirety of the original, just with dump trucks of more content added onto it.

So despite the major issues with the Anti-Cheat, its still quite fun.

One of the only games I've ever played that actually made me cry.

legit just one of the worst idle games I've ever played. The ball physics are trash and even for an idle game its so damn slow.

it's just cookie clicker

---{ Graphics }---
☑ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☑ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☑ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☑ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☑ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

Again, time to revamp a review I made previously as a joke. Plants Vs. Zombies is incredibly fun. It's a nice game if you either want to play it for a few minutes, or a few hours. The major downside to it however is that once you beat adventure mode, there's not too much replayability there. I mean, you of course have the minigames and the zen garden, but those imo aren't nearly as fun as Adventure Mode. So overall, PVZ gets 9 brains out of 10.