sunshine

wtf is going in this comment section

But a tear still fell from my right eye when I watched you win your first ring in miami, because deep down, my glorious king deserved it. I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby boy came home and I rejoiced. 2015 was a hard year for us baby, but in 2016 you made history happen. You came back from 3-1 and I couldn't believe it. I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious king exclaim these words, "CLEVELAND, THIS IS FOR YOU!" Not only have you changed the game of basketball and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you pookie bear, my glorious king, Lebron James.☺♥🫶🏻

Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Lebron... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you drive into the paint and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth touch around the rim, and that gorgeous jumpshot. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire. You had a rough childhood, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing off the court, you're a great husband and father, sometimes I even call you dad. I forvever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first left clevenland and its like my heart got broken into a million pieces.

What if I'm already ♥♥♥♥ myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go ♥♥♥ myself". I may be ♥♥♥♥ myself already. I may as well not be ♥♥♥♥ myself already. Until my ♥♥♥♥ and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my ♥♥♥♥ enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis.

L̽̌͂O̖ͩ͌O̖ͩ͌K͕͓͌ B̩͎ͅEͭ̉͟Hͥ̽IND YOU҉