Recent reviews by Gaveta

bunderlands 2

Never have I written a wall of text such as this, but this game is the biggest disappointment I have ever had, and I expected nothing to begin with.

I'll start by saying I'm a big postal fan, I own and have played all of the games, including Postal 3. I'll also say that one of the things I find most fun to do in my free time is playing scuffed game jam games made by people in a week. Still, while being a big fan of laughing at ♥♥♥♥, having a broken sense of humor, and being able to feel something related to happiness even throughout my playthroughs of Postal 3, this game is at it's core an unfunny, infantile, horrid, disgusting badly programmed game, and to this day that only game I bough, or even got for free, that was unable to get me a quick laugh, even with all the care and no lick of expectation.

Good things first as they are few:
The movement and gun play is slightly better than Postal 2's, not to say that's an achievement, as no one plays Postal for it's gameplay, but the weapons do feel better to use, most have improved animations and their power ups are interesting. The dollar store Duke Nukem dub sounds very bad, Corey Cruise does a fine replacement of Rick Hunter and they should have just recurred to him when Rick was unavailable, but you can't complain about having the choice of which of the 3 dudes you like best.

Now out with the bad:
I was unable to finish this game in any of the chances I gave it, not only due to the bad performance and minutes long load times, but due to it feeling more like a chore than a pastime. I specifically despise the little tasks scattered around the map, and I don't think the rampages are fun either.
This game can only be compared to Postal 2, as it's a rough recreation of that made by skull mask wearing morbidly obese 12 year olds. Postal 3 could also be compared as it was awful in every way this is, but due to being different in terms of gameplay to both, it still was a more refreshing experience in the similar nonsense world of Postal.

The humor is insufferable, there is no dark humor at all, no minorities are oppressed, there is no subtle racism, the highly relevant social justice warriors in present times are just very lightly attacked, there is no reference to cancel culture, no opposition to anything, no one is offended and the awful reviews the game received, while proudly displayed to imitate Postal 2, make no sense without this offensive factor this game doesn't have. With all the good taken out, what remains is poop fart funny jokes, and a lot of these. Actually, mostly these. This game has a creepy addiction to feces, and toilets, and toilets filled with feces. There is also that Krotchy clit clone, the Postal Dude is wearing a pink robe. Oh! and what about that wheel menu which lets you do the super wacky funny twerk animation and stare at it, wow!!! All this contributes to the third grade humor feel this game has.

The Postal Dude is also a shadow of what he once was, in fact, nothing of him remains in this game. Taking place after the events of Paradise Lost, it is no surprise that after killing the ♥♥♥♥♥ wife he had to endure and retrieving champ he would be happier, but this jolly wacky man does not conform to his past apparitions, and after playing him in the past games, it's not so funny seeing the same twisted edgelord picking up a marker and writing in a cardboard sheet that he would suck ♥♥♥♥ for money, this is by the way the first that we see of him, and it never gets old as it never was funny to begin with.

The atmosphere and general vibe of Postal 2 is a fat part of what makes it great, and this game has a completely different one, it's in contrast to it's ancestor not creepy, macabre, and edgy, which relates to the first game and gives good contrast to be in the mind of the same twisted psychopath that is the Postal Dude, but now with the task not to murder, but to do mundane, simple tasks which turn into minority induced madness or chaos caused by the Dude's bad luck, and all that while giving the player the choice to be either a devilish murderer or a pacifist (this choice is also present in this game, but with all this added dialogue and cutscenes it no longer feels the same, because the Dude acts, as previously stated, just as a goofy middle aged poor victim of society). While you walk through the cities of this game you hear no weird ambiance like the first two games, you don't question anything as it's all just gaily riding a mobility scooter (hilarious) through a grey empty city, only to sometimes stumble open the few interesting interiors in the obligatory missions. There is nothing worthwhile to explore outside the main story line that I could find, while in Postal 2 you had lots of areas you didn't even need to go through in the entirety of the game, as well as the entirety of Tora Bora.

Seeing the game updates go by gives me certain hope for the sequel that this one day might be playable, and who could say, maybe nearly as fun as the second game if only the sandbox aspect, putting the story aside, is taken into consideration. However, I get no itch to try the game and see the newly added improvements, as the core is and always will be the same. I couldn't say everything I hate about this game in the wall of text, and I'm sure there are many other things to hate in the other half of this game I couldn't bare playing.

I will probably only give this another choice when the steam workshop update comes out, as without it's hideous story and potty humor, given that they improve performance, it would serve as a decent stable base with an updated engine for community modding. Otherwise, no matter how much they polish the game from now on, the main story will remain pitiful, the map uninteresting, and the art style ugly. The Postal Dude also became a twitter trans pride progressive furry libertarian reddit-user icon, which is not all this game's fault, but sucks nonetheless.

I regret everything.

Triste.

Hospício.