Recent reviews by The Girl

Okay, I don't even own the game, how the ♥♥♥♥ am I able to review it?

I'd say you should buy this game, but not in it's current state because ALL THE CHARACTERS I UNLOCKED PLUS ALL OF MY CAREER PROGRESS IS GONE!!

UT things, like Urinary Tract Infection, are mostly bad (yes, I know it's a UTI thing, but shut up). Then a special man brought us a good UT thing. This man is called Toby Fox. Toby Fox began with a question, a question that ruptured the very fabric of RPGs. "What if there was a RPG," Toby thought, "that allowed you not to hurt a soul?" Then it was built up, through code and thought. Think of it as a child, they could be innocent but also become vile, like a bully. This "child" was Undertale. Undertale is a RPG where you don't have to be a hunter and a deer trying to live it's life. Like a hunter, they try to kill the deer, but maybe you thought the hunter would leave the deer alone. Think of yourself as a hunter, hunting different deer, and you're guided by Undertale. Undertale, as a child, would say that you should leave the deer alone. That is your choice, you may think, but it's a child. Let me ask you personally, would you kill the deer or will you listen to Undertale and give in to the innocent child's nature? I think I mostly hear you claiming to spare the deer, I mean, think of it's characteristics. It's peaceful, and you shouldn't bother it. That's just an example, and it's not over. In Undertale, you meet a variety of characters, and the first two you meet are clear definitions. You know who I'm talking about. Sans and Papyrus are skeletons, and they're brothers. Papyrus is a fun, spaghetti-loving fan favorite. Sans is a fan favorite too, and if you dare go bad but spare him, well, he prefers his Dunkin Donuts with a little sweet flavor. Although if you're going to bag the deer, you shouldn't forget how funny Sans is. Really, Sans seems to be a little COMICal, right? (Nobody got that joke). Sans also has a knack for helping his brother out with puzzles, and he thinks his brother is cool. Whether or not he thinks Papyrus is cool, you can't forget how Papyrus constantly fails but constantly tries to get you captured from his puzzling traps. However, these characters can die if you decide to paint yourself red and get all HORN-y. Now, I believe I'm finished with characters, BUT we're just getting started on the book. So, to briefly describe the game's story without spoilers, I think this will be legit. So after a war between the locked-up monsters and the victorious hoomans, a child with a name falls and meets different characters from Flowey to the King. The child decides to go evil/good by sparing/killing monsters which is fun. Then after some funtime, the child makes it to the surface after facing some bosses. END!!! Now that you heard that, let me tell you Undertale's overall. Undertale is one of those games that will be remembered throughout time, and that's why I nominated it for the "Most Heartwarming Game" Award during the Steam Award Nominations. What I ask of you, if you enjoyed the game, is to also nominate it for "Most Heartwarming Game". If you don't, then that's your choice. Think of this as a favor between fellow strangers on the internet united by god-like Undertale over here. Also, if you agree with this entire review, comment any Sans pun down below. I bet you, these puns will sure be a PUN-ch to the FUNNY BONE. I bet I'm unfunny ;-;

It's sad, the potential it had, ruined by microtransactions and random DLC. It's like what another user said in the game, the developers serve you a cookie crumb and it's the best cookie crumb you had. They offer you another crumb from their cookie and price it something like $15, and that's when you pay it only to find out it tasted the same as the regular cookie crumb you got. I fully agree with that, and it's not the end of the trail of cookie crumbs, ooooh no, my friend. It's just the beginning of a long-line of microtransactions just so you can feast on the rest of the cookie crumbs. It's even worse when you look outside of the DLC and into the other microtransactions. WHAT!? I NEED TO FORK OVER MORE CASH JUST TO GET TO CONTINUE PLAYING THE GAME!? When I first saw this, I felt like growing my hair long enough to make a noose from it as it's still attached to my head. Wait, MORE MICROTRANSACTIONS!? I feel like it's rather a freely-microtransactionable-playable game than a free-to-play game. Nevermind the amazing gameplays that are possible, microtransactions bring the buzzkill. All I ask about this game for it to be approved is simple; loosen up on the DLC and remove most microtransactions so we can feel like it's an actual free game. Maybe then I'll return to the game. Before I end this rant, let me tell you...

I don't care if you like the game (if you do, good for you) or if you hate the game, all I care is to warn you to not waste your money on this game's wasteful time of DLC and fun (economically and literally) absorber of microtransactions. Spending your money on a wishlisted game instead is something to do better than falling into the microtransactions like a internet using idiot falling easily to viruses. I hope you enjoy your day if you took the time to read it all.

-Man walks up for immigration
-"Papers, please..."
-Man shows passport, from Kolechia
-Denied
-Glory to Arstotzka
-In news, Man knew cure for cancer
-Man doesn't distribute it to Arstotzka
-Glory to Arstotzka?

I can't even play it anymore, and since nobody will help me, I will hate this game, if you can help me, comment below

It keeps crashing also how are we supposed to press some fictional button called "Win"?

The game for lazy and athletic and slightly greedy people. Take a hike, you get a billion dollars to make it moo. Go to space and fight aliens, look at that, you're a trillionare now! I can eat, sleep, use Steam, play AdVenture Capitalist, repeat. (A made-up verison of Brock Lesnar's eat, sleep, conquer, repeat) I recommend it to real life rich guys so they can become vitrually rich thanks to AdVenture Capitalist! I also recommend it to friends who want to be rich but JUST can't.

Some people are smart, other people vote up the Jester after he admits he's a Jester, then there's the Vigilante that shoots the revealed Mayor.