Asuna: (quietly) I think if you touch a single hair on [Kirito]'s head, I'm going to be wearing your guts like my mom's pashmina.
Sugou: ...Excuse me?
Asuna: I'm sorry, did I freaking stutter? (glares at Sugou) I said, if you hurt him, you will experience pain and torment beyond anything you could possibly imagine. Your body will be torn apart piece by piece as you beg for a mercy that will never come. I will add your screams to MY GUSH-DARN SPOTIFY, AND I WILL SEE YOUR HEAD MOUNTED ON A FUDGING PIKE!
Sugou: Y-you should hear how ridiculous you sound right now! Th-that profanity filter's doing you no favors...
Asuna: [Burns with the fury of a thousand suns with a demonic choir in the background]

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