I am a Minion trapped in a man's body. I'm not sure how I can come out like this, or how to even fabricate my unorthodox emotions into words. But here goes; I am a minion. Every morning I meet up with my friends, and say "bello". The looks of despair I am greeted with mixed with the utmost disgust upsets me deeply. Just because I speak minionease. I look in the mirror and shed a tear as I wish I was 4 feet smaller, and had only 1 eye. Kevin, Stuart and even Bob to an extent have always been role models of mine due to how well they act and the humor they exhibit. Please don't be a hater and say that I am a troll punk, because even us minions have feelings too.

please stop putting pipe bombs in my oven

we're rich!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿
⠀⢠⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣻⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢋⣥⣾⣿⣿⠟
⠀⣼⣿⣿⢿⡟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⢛⣥⣶⡿⠛⢋⡤⡴⠁
⢸⣿⣿⣿⢛⣵⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⠄⡀⢐⣺⣿⣥⡖⠄⠘⠋
⠀⠈⠛⠻⠛⠁⢈⣁⣤⢴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠄⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠛⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉

⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣻⢿⣿⣿⡦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠛⠁
⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀
⠀⢀⡠⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀
⠰⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⠀⠠⠿⠿⠏⠀⠀

straight!

omgg mommmmyyyy