Recent reviews by Czar Twilight

Before I start I'll summarize my thoughts. It's good, a bit flawed, but has the trappings of greatness within it that just need to be brought out.

Just as damn near everyone and their dog have said. Yes it's like darksouls...However it's more that it's like it's wearing it's dad's (Dark Souls) clothes and prancing about saying "Look at me. I'm like you". It seems a bit harsh, but i feel liike that's the best way i can descibe it. I would rather not write a book so i'll just list some of my problems with it.

1. A map would be appreciated given it's styiling as a metroidvania type of game. It doesn't have to be a full map cause why on earth would that be in a Souls-like game. It could start as an item you pick up/ buy or it could be a starting gift. The map should function like one would expect in reality. It's filled in as you explore. I mean mean playing an adventure game without any direction. It's not like it's impossible, it's just a hassle.

2. Don't tie the main healing source to the different factions, or at least make them the same when it comes to healing and give them a specific secondary buff for each faction. Simple enough. Most likely (if you're coming from DS) you won't really worry about factions cause you'll think they have to do with online or something and not have them mess with your estus.

3. More movement options. They don't have to be super crazy. They could just be a sprinting long jump. (well really anything with a sprint. Maybe I'm just dumb and haven't figured out how to sprint, but the point still stands) Plus sprinting could lead to different weapon effects like charging with a spear out or your Zweihander. An improved jump could work/ double jump. And i don't feel like a double jump is too far fetched given you hover in the air if you attack mid jump. Granted some of those might make things a bit easier, but when the game is a platforming metroindvania ehh maybe.

Still like i said It's good and flawed. With just a dash of greatness sprinkled in.

My Assault Colonel missed an important shotgun blast from approximately 2 meters away.

10/10 would load previous save again

TL;DR This isn't as bad an update as you've been led to believe. All the main complaints boil down to "it;s a minor inconvenience to me", and if we reject whatever hard work was put into this update we could set up the precident for sub par updates in the future.

Despite what all the whining that the new update has caused would lead you to believe. TF2 will not die. It has "died" many a death in the past, but rose from the smoke undaunted each time. While, yes this hasn't been the best update, nor has it been the smoothest all this will blow over and we will continue to play as usual. Remember when EOtL "killed" it? Remember when Gun mettle "killed" it. remember when basically any update ever kiled it? Why i'll admit i wan't playing when pyromania went live, but i'm positive that that update also killed this game.

Now that isn't to say that i like everything in this update. There are some things I would change...Well really only one thing that has been blown way out of proportion, and in all honesty not even that big of a deal. That thing is pubs. Now before you go on a diatribe against valve for "ruining" pubs and yelling from the top of the Hightower "i'mma sell all my stuff because a company that owes me nothing did something that i don't like on a superficial level". Remember Valve didn't ruin pubs. We did. What did they really do? They implemented a penalty to incentivize sticking it out. They made you want to win with matches that came down to the wire in all the ones i played. They made it so you can't just play upward for the ten millionth time. Don't get me wrong i love that map, but there are others.

I would like to go over these things individually specifically the complaints i've seen the most. Penalties, wait times, tryhards, and just pubs in general. I'm going to keep these concise, or at least try to.

First. Penalties. I'm fairly sure that all of those that saw the whole "penalties" thing just saw the word and didn't think after that before they wrote their negative review. Because i haven't seen any arguments as to why they're a bad thing. The only one that I have seen is the hacker argument. if the other team has a cheater you get penalized if you don't want to deal with it. Fair enough. Though this could be overcome with some coordination among the team (a tall order for a pub. i know) but it can be done.and even if you do leave the penalty is around 10 minutes. Really you can't wait 10 minutes? Tab out. watch a video, listen to like 2 songs, use the restroom. Just do something instead of staring at the screen slack jawed, staring gormlessly while nothing happens. This penalty isn't prohibitive. it's honestly the bare minimum they can do to make you want to stay and fight to the end. We've all had times where you're being rolled and just before the final push half your team bails assuring the opposition's victory. In a game that doesn't record Wins/Losses it's an idiotic thing to do, and if there isn't anything to try to change the mindset. then of course nothing will change.

Second. Wait times. This one will be shorter than the last because there isn't much to say. I've heard complaints throwing out the popular hyperbole of 30+ minutes to play a game. Really? Maybe on day one when this was all changed, but you'd have to be an idiot to think there wouldn't be some rough patches.

Third. Tryhards. Honestly this is the stupidest complaint of them all. Yeah, how dare someone play a game with victory and loss contitions to win. If you just want to boxtrot/hoovie the whole time that's totally fine. just don't complain when people don't want to play your meta-game. Personally i never understood the allure of the hoovie. To me it's the same as when people cheat. You aren't doing anything you're just sitting in your little corner while things happen around you. Anyway on topic now. I understand when people tryhard and are complete C U N T s about it, but that's just a problem with them as individuals. Not the concept of trying as a whole. And how is having two teams trying their hardest not fun? both as a participant and the observer? To me this reeks of less skilled players complaining that they aren't winning. Or worse you want to play to the best of your abilities and half your team is idle/friendly in spawn. when has that ever been fun?
Fourth. Pubs. This would be the one thing i would change. i would have quickplay, casual, and comp, but whatever it doesn't really matter. because we still have pubs. Just go to community servers. Sure some are just insane with the plug ins, but for every one that makes your eyes bleed. there are normal ones. there you can hoovie to your hearts content. and in before someone whines "but the ads ;~;". this is truly the epitome of first world problems. Oh no you need to listen to a 30 second add every so often. please tell me how you survive that struggle when your entire existence is plastered with adverts. unless you are living deep in the wilderness foraging for berries, and if you are doing that. Please tell me how you fashioned a reliable internet connection out of twigs and mud. but seriously though. this will bring life to community servers. How many of us play exclusively on community servers? i'd wager that no one does. And yes there are the nes that are just bananna boats crazy. think about it for a minute. isolation does crazy things. if there was an influx of new blood to community servers eventually the crazy would dilute from it's near fatal concentrations to bearable ones. Plus think about how many people have never heard of some of the more interesting game modes out there. imagine. multiple servers full of people playing prophunt, saxton hale, the hidden(yeah remember that dead mode). what is there not to love? maybe mvm will get some more love as well. Think of the friends you could make if you become a regular on a community server.

Inconclusion this update really isn't as bad as some of the more vocal would claim. sure it isn't the prettiest, but it sure won't be the TFkiller they claim. And think about what this tells the people who worked on this update. While i have no game dev experience i can't imagine that an update like this can be farted out in a week. if you whine and moan and get them to recind the changes they made. what mesage does that send? What kind of effort will be out into the next big update? This backlash could have the potential to give us Gun mettle ad infinitum filled with more sub par community crates. That would surely kill the game we all came to love. That would kill Team Fortress 2.

God if only I was this productive in real life. Instead i just sit around in my underwear pretend farming with my digital waifu.

Just remember. Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something.

There's no better way to waste several days playing, and make no visable forward progress.