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Recent reviews by °͜ ° kind human bean

Showing 1-5 of 5 entries
5 people found this review helpful
6,489.8 hrs on record
it's alright
Posted April 4.
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2 people found this review helpful
436.3 hrs on record (18.3 hrs at review time)
10/10 thank you miyazaki
Posted February 26, 2022.
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2 people found this review helpful
42.6 hrs on record
Brief summary of my experience: In the beginning, I was hooked by the intro but was later disappointed. Mid-game, I began to enjoy the game and appreciate it. Near the end, all positive feelings toward the game disappeared and I reverted to hating the game.

Now, to the review:

Death Stranding is a strand-type game. "Just what is a strand-type game?", you might ask; to quote a wise man: "It's a special type of game where everything about it is a complete piece of ♥♥♥♥".

Enter Death Stranding: You play as a man named Sam. Sam is a postman and telecom worker in a post-apocalyptic world on the brink of total annihilation. In conjunction with delivering items from point A to point B, Sam also tries to get people on-board with what you could call his ISP-turned government under the slogan of "Making America Whole Again". Later in the game, you'll be joined with a baby in a jar which will grant you special eyes as long as you take care of it.

The gameplay of Death Stranding is torturous. On top of trying not to topple over and damage any of the parcels you're delivering, in the event that you do, you will have to pick it all up from the ground, arrange your cargo in a way that doesn't make the load too unbalanced and make you likely to topple over again, and you will most likely have to deal with a crying baby which you'll have to soothe for about 10-20 seconds until you've mitigated the stress you caused the poor baby, after which you FINALLY can return to attempting to complete the delivery which will lay claim to even more time in order to progress the story.

The game is arduous and incredibly slow-paced. It is so slow-paced that you can find yourself CRAVING conflict - something that can redeem the waste of time you've committed by playing along with this game's narrative. Fortunately, there are conflicts in this game in the form of enemy battles and boss fights; however, there are only a few types of regular enemies to fight against, and fighting those enemies can get boring pretty quickly once you've beaten them a few times. The number of boss fights are limited, and although some can be quite enjoyable, a number of them is actually just battling regular enemies with a fancy cutscene preluding said battle.

I really tried enjoying the game and immersing myself in it, and I did find myself beginning to enjoy the game for a few hours mid-game, but towards the end, when I had to walk for what felt like a long period of time across a beach with no end just so that I could unlock dialogue after dialogue (wherein any analogies used were not seldom nonsensical and clichéd) so that I could progress, my feelings toward the game took a nose-dive and I reverted to hating the game.
Posted August 9, 2020. Last edited August 9, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
1,487.4 hrs on record (1,248.1 hrs at review time)
Love it.
Posted July 4, 2019.
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9 people found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
1,423.6 hrs on record (296.9 hrs at review time)
I've never played any game that had swordplay before or third person. I actually thought I would hate this game to its guts, but the hype from the fanbase was just too much. I decided to preorder and give it a shot. When I began playing the game on the first day, I struggled to use keyboard and mouse(A shame there is no kb/m overlay). As a result, I died many times and I kept struggling to actually attempt to enjoy the game. However, after many defeats and many dissatisfactions, I finally beat my first boss WITH A KEYBOARD AND MOUSE! Now, I don't usually get hyped after completing a tutorial level, but this game was totally different. It didn't just give me some mindless skeletons to fight, but it also gave me a boss to fight, which by the way, gave me a headache.

Each level was more enormous than the one before it with enemies that were sometimes huge. When I finally beat the game, I couldn't believe it was finally over. I was actually sad that there no more remaining bosses that could give me suffering and frustration. In my opinion, this game turned me into a masochist. Though, what the hell is up with all this weird English poetic stuff? Did the writers just read Shakespeare and decide to write in whatever word they thought had a good ring to it?

10/10
Posted August 24, 2016.
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Showing 1-5 of 5 entries