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Here's where it gets dark ladies and germs... Ever since my surgery I've had... Odd cravings. I love to eat apples and oranges late into the night, often exclaiming my love of fruit for all to hear. My wife is threatening to leave because my wails of pleasure are waking up her boyfriend and causing him to perform poorly at his gas station job. Sometimes I lick my fingies clean after a apple+orange binge and I'm so damn out of my gourd that I sprint to the store to buy more. I've been banned from several fruit retailers as a direct result of my behavior towards the staff and my conduct in their public restrooms. Also my hair turned white for some reason.