I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

This man cheated on my mom and then put duct tape around each of his fingers and started dancing in a circle singing "I'm the Silver Fairy, you cannot come near me" over and over and it freaked my dog out

sh!t, he knows

well are you quicksilver in age of ultron?

i'm not a human shield

hay your the best thanks for evre thin
ps i cant spell