Recent reviews by Fantomu

Started at midnight: blind run, thinking I was going to get something goofy and generic with cannibalism mechanics and thirst trap jokes thrown in as an afterthought and call it quits 10 minutes later... Before I knew it, it was 3AM and I had all the achievements.

I've jokingly called this game "The Coffin of Slim and Hailey", as it takes me back to that humor and edge of "Marshall Mathers LP" era. Despite the insane ♥♥♥♥ that unfolds, I had to see what happened next, and how the dynamic would play out between resident sadboi Andy and manipulative psycho-♥♥♥♥♥ Leyley.

Overall, it's absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up in the best way possible. You'll be scarred for life, but you'll also laugh like Gandhi watching American Pie for the first time. Looking forward to Ep. 3 and beyond. :)

Update (0.2.0.0): 144+ fps on boot, ~120 fps on the main menu, ~50 fps at the KSC, 30 fps in flight/orbit now. Some progress, but still a major issue.

Framerate is normal in the menus and vehicle assembly building, but I get 10-20 FPS once I get to the launch pad, even on the lowest graphics settings. Also choppy audio with a lot of stuttering. I get that this is early access but I expected at least a functional game, major disappointment.

My god, I thought this was supposed to be a game based on that Toto song "Hold the Line". This was way too gritty a mind♥♥♥♥ for me! D:

A man who never eats pork bun is never a whole man! I also still have no idea what the ♥♥♥♥ "pok gai" means.

Overall: 7 / 10

In much the same way that Just Cause 2 could be "loosely based on" Don Quixote, Vindictus (or Mabinogi: Heroes for you non-Americans) is loosely based on the Mabinogion, a set of Welsh mythology. This interpretation is centered around Korean anime people in either chain-mail lingerie or pots-and-pans armor wielding giant battle-scythes and tree trunks: so basically, everything you'd expect from 14th century pre-Christian Celtic folklore.

In this version, Pwyll is named "Lann", Pryderi is "Kai", Rhiannon is "Evie", Branwen is "Fiona", and Bendigeidfran is "Karok". Instead of the original episodic tales that feature the relationships between characters, their romances, conflicts, struggles and occasional deus ex machina magic, you just grind for levels, pay microtransactions and commit a lot of animal cruelty to dog people, vampires, blood jellies, golems and dragons. Also, they wiped my character a few months ago, so ♥♥♥♥ Nexon.

Overall: 4/5

R.I.P. in peace... Great IP, ♥♥♥♥ developer/publisher.

Remember hearing about the guys in MMOs who would just quickly grind characters to max level and then sell them on eBay? This game is built around that, except you can't sell them after... and it's got a tournament or something. The heroes are kinda gimmicky like they were created by Dr. Wily (e.g. you got Blood Man, and Tide Man, and Magic Man, and Anti-Magic Man, etc.)

Update: game has come into its own after they decided to add best-girl waifu Marci. However, points deducted for a noticeable lack of jiggle physics (plz patch, Valve).

The only thing that could make this game more Bostonian is a DLC where you play as Samuel Adams himself -- weilding a pint of his Summer Ale in one hand and a Hidden Blade in the other -- climbing to the top of the Old State House and then diving blade-first onto a redcoat's face while screaming "WIKKID PISSAAAAAAAAH!"

To be honest I only really played this to get the "Black Rose" in TF2. The round I played was incredibly laggy. It walks and quacks like a COD, but free; you're better served just waiting until a Steam sale and picking up the real thing.