Recent reviews by MapleSyzurp

The floor 2 boss is by far the greatest boss of any game ever. Also ties in perfectly with Hades, as it has a killer soundtrack.
Pinched by a crab
Strangled by an octopus
Bitten by a shark and
Stung by a jellyfish

Poked by an urchin
Stabbed by a marlin
Sawed by a sawfish and
Crushed by Charybdis and

Slapped by a bass
Sliced by a sturgeon
Clobbered by a charp and
Stomped by hippocampus and

Smacked by a knucklehead and
Poisoned by a scuffer and
Burned by a slavug and
Swallowed by a whale

Let it cook, it's another one of those BG x Survival games that will stay in Alpha for a decade.

As with all of them it's fun, but janky and buggy as all hell. Performance is always an issue as there's so much foliage in the game. The setting of the jungle and rice fields makes it very viable to use and abuse bush wookie playstyles. I have to play with most settings low on 3070 zen 7 rig along with Ultra Performance DLSS setting to be able to get consistent FPS.

I don't mind giving account data to Sony as I already have accounts on Steam, Microsoft, Google, Apple, Epic Games, Battle.net, Netflix, Prime, Crave/HBO, Bell, Videotron, Facebook, Myspace, Plenty of Fish, Grindr... the list goes on & on & on & on. This is just the reality of the 21st century.

As long as cross-platform works now why you heff to be mad? It's a good game, seems like a stupid thing to hivemind about.

The most fun I've had in a BF type game since BFBC2. Perhaps even more fun.
Yes, the graphics are blocks, but it allows the environment to be destructible for 127v127 combat on massive maps with vehicles, running at 200+fps. Player interactions are amazing. Weapon progression is like the BF games with it based on your rank and/or kills with the weapon, and they all feel great to use.

Game is great if you enjoy the frustrations of Tarkov, the spookyness of STALKER, and the gameplay of Enter the Gungeon.
Needs work as it's Early Access but has a lot of guns/mods/items with a ton of references to at least 2/3rds of the aforementioned games and is a fun time sink. Devs seem responsive and active thus far.
8/10 would kill Igor again

almost 200hours in and I've died about 2000 times

12/10 would die again

It's a lot like Stardew Valley but FPS with guns and Shane can come into your farm at any given time with C4 to raid yo chickens

UPDATED REVIEW FOR 2.0 2023:

They fixed many things and revamped the skills. It's now a fun brain-off Action FPS. Hopefully CDPR reads this to improve things for the sequel. I am enjoying my 2nd playthrough but there's still outstanding quirks and issues with the game:

There's still a lack of choice; picking story options doesn't seem to affect the story all that much (Ex: IIRC the Delemain quest has the same outcome, regardless whether you side with him or his children). Some of the choices are even the same which seems lazy ("Johnny, little help?" vs "A little help Johnny!"). It doesn't really matter if I KO cyberpsychos or kill them, Regina just sends a different text message.

Tying into the above the game still feels like it's "on rails"; it feels like someone is constantly holding my hand. It's hard to explain, but it feels more like an arcade shooter like House of the Dead rather than a open world shooter like GTA or Saint's Row.

Sneaking is still useless, there's no penalty besides maybe less Eddies which I'm not stressed for during the majority of both of my playthroughs. The game is much more fun taking everyone head on and smashing or shooting everything to bits.

Still no flashlight in 2.0, but there's mods for it I guess. Just seems like a really silly oversight.

Driving is still like the cars have ice skates, but it can be fun. A lot more fun than before now that vehicles aren't constantly popping in and out of world.

By no means is this NMS levels of improvement, but 2.0 is a step in the right direction. Still not worth $70 though, maybe worth half that at this point - wait for a sale.


OLD 1.0 2020 REVIEW:
tl;dr : I'd rather play Deus Ex: Human Revolution

I want to enjoy this game. I keep trying to. But there's too many faults. ♥♥♥♥ the bugs that may be eventually fixed, this game is beyond redemption because of the AI and "stealth" mechanics.

The heist mission in the prologue is literally the most boring heist mission I've ever played. Spoilers for the first few hours but basically you check into a hotel, press F on a few vents, then hide in a television while someone tells you very loudly not to speak. Then they give you the option to sneak out. Why though? What is the downside of just going through guns blasting? It was certainly more fun to shoot all of the guards than to try to crouch walk around them holding tab pressing F on every other thing.

There's no choice. They make you feel like there's choice but there isn't. The game is masked as an open world game but it feels like you're on rails the entire time. The only choices I've made that seem to make any impact are "oh maybe I should do a side quest or a gig now" but you're just constantly chasing phone calls and mission markers.

And back to the stealth. Why do it? I have seen no consequences for completing a stealth mission guns blazing, besides some scolding from the NPC that handed the quest out. The stealth is no fun, so I am happy I can blaze guns without punishment, but it sucks for anyone hoping this was a "stealth" game.

The driving handles worse than GTA or any other 3ps/fps with driving. You'd think in the future you'd have more automation to handle a bit better, nope we drive on black ice and shoot into space on the most minor collisions.

The only pros for me is that it's funny (even then it memes too hard, which is rare for me to say), the story can be entertaining, and the setting is cool. Does not make it worth full price, and even if you're waiting to fix the kinks I'm not sure it's possible. I guess see what kind of love CDPR can pour into this for the next year and hope we get some NMS levels of improvement.

People are spazzing out because the launch day was rocky, they didn't expect so many people to play and servers were overloaded, it happens.

Also people who are complaining about the micro transactions and prices, calm down the battle pass is free and you get like 10k Kudos (in-game currency) and 3 crowns for completion. All it unlocks is cosmetics anyway, so why you heff to be mad?

Anyway, on to my review:
PROS
- Bassline in main menu and loading screens SLAPPs
- Game is like mXc with Human: Fall Flat-like characters and physics
- When servers work games are quick and easy
- No stress when playing, but winning feels good
- Only 3 buttons (excluding movement/camera)
- Most of the mini games are really fun
- Awesome cosmetics
- Free battle pass that unlocks cosmetics and in-game currency
- One of the best social media account runners, their twitter is awesome
- New maps, features and more planned

CONS
- In-game music is missing those SLAPPin' basslines, I want them on always
- Hex-a-Gone is the final stage game 70% of the time, all the time.
- Rocky servers on launch
- No crossplay (this is planned though)
- Not on Switch or Xbone (is possible with interest)
- No option for private server (also possible with interest)