Recent reviews by ASSWOLF

made me want to learn to stuff my own turkey

Fallen Earth is a futuristic romp through a war-torn post-apocalyptic wasteland packed full of fantastic features such as skippable cinematics, people that shoot at you, mutated chickens that do not look like mutated chickens at all, and lead pipes that you can hit these mutated chickens with for not looking like mutated chickens.

One of the most disorientating features I noticed was the nostalgic UI ripped from the mid-90s. Well great now all I want to do is play Furcadia again. I should have just went and installed Furcadia and I could have played as a dogtaur and barked at cat people or something cool. My friend and I spent a good while learning how to better cooperate as we tried to work together against the game’s nonexistent group quest tracking features, but not too long after came the highlight of our night when we both logged out of the game and went to sleep.

So is this the Fallout 3 Online we’ve all been waiting for? Yes. Your search is over. Fallen Earth is basically the popular post-apocalyptic roleplaying game Fallout 3 by Bethesda, if Fallout 3 were a massive online piece of ♥♥♥♥. That is Fallen Earth. So if you like to play games online and have them toss pieces of ♥♥♥♥ at you in your livingroom you should install this game. It’s pretty much free. Free pieces of ♥♥♥♥ thrown at you for free. Enjoy.

This is not actually 2007 mexican horror film Borderland: The Videogame, but an original sci-fi game by Gearbox software. If you’re like me and not a loser, you probably know who they are because you played the dreamcast port of the original Halflife. It’s one of those fancy FPS RPG hybrid games where you kill things that drop loot and then level up and spend your cool points on expanding your talent trees, much like World of Warcraft. Aside from your character's talents, you'll also be picking up tons of loot and weapons along the way, each with their own unique stats that will give your videogame character some spiffy buffs, much like World of Warcraft.

One of the most neato things about the game is all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ guns, I mean there’s guns everywhere. They’re just sitting on the ground and you can pick them up and take them with you. When you’re killing ♥♥♥♥ little numbers pop off of your enemy's heads like you’re playing World of Warcraft again, and one of the classes even has a stealth cloak much like the rogue class from World of Warcraft. In fact this game is pretty much a ripoff of World of Warcraft with guns. So if you love World of Warcraft you might want to check this game out.

If you're a furfaggot like me, you'll probably love this game. One of the first things I noticed is that you can play as a cat person. The second thing I noticed, if you download a nude mod, you can play as a naked cat person. Aside from that, I mean you can kill dragons and do quests and ♥♥♥♥, I guess. The biggest problem I have with this game is that I end up dropping my pants and jerking off because I'm playing as a cat person. You don't know how many times I've incidently muddled a quest, having to stop and jerk off just as a Draugr Overlord shambles from his tomb. So if you love furry cat people and you also love shooting your load all over your socks, this game is a must buy.

I'm recommending this game because I want a free Steam gift. It has Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd and that one black guy in it. If you love Ghost Busters then there's a small chance you'll mildly enjoy this game. Just make sure that you're under 13 or you'll probably get pissed off by Bill Murray holding your hand and telling you exactly what buttons to push throughout the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game while he throws out G-Rated one-liners.

A story about two gay men who shot a hooker. This game was ass. The last boss was two dobermans and I they didn't even shoot fire. If you look closely at the game title on Steam, you'll notice the character on the right telling you to hold the ♥♥♥♥ up with that buy now button, and save your money on a crack rock if you love burning time between now and death.