( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)╭∩╮ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You might not know about it but Your mother and I had very loud, long, and passionate sexual intercourse last night. It was so loud, your neighbors called the police to report a noise complaint, the police thought your mother was in danger from how ear piercing her moans were, and ended up breaking down the door to find me shafting my 10.7 inch rock hard penis in and out of her tight vagina. They were so impressed they stayed to watch. I was shanking it, I was cranking it, and finally, I ejaculated so much it splattered throughout your entire house. I performed so well that your mother, the police, and your neighbors tipped me for it.