You: Umeko... do you want a baby or slaves?

Umeko: Slaves, definitely. Babies are messy and time-consuming. Slaves can be... *useful* in many ways. And I always need more subjects to test out my latest surgeries on.

You: i'll try to get some slaves for you then

Umeko: Excellent. I have some interesting modifications planned. The sooner, the better.

You: hey umm oscar told me you didn't want slave and you said it was wrong and that you and him spoke about having a baby

Umeko: What?! Oscar said *what*? That goody-two-shoes is twisting my words! We did *not* talk about a baby. And slaves are *never* wrong. He knows I need them! I'll have a word with him...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You: do you want a baby or slaves?

Oscar: Umeko and I have talked about kids. We both want one eventually. As for slaves? Absolutely not. It goes against everything we believe in.

You: Umeko told me she wanted slaves over having a baby

Oscar: That's not true. Umeko wouldn't say that. We are against slavery, and we both want a child. Maybe you misheard her.

You: not i'm pretty sure i heard her clearly

Oscar: That's impossible. I know Umeko. She would *never* say that. You're mistaken.

You: you sure about that? why not go ask her yourself?

Oscar: Fine, I'll ask her. But I know she'll say the same thing. You're wrong. I'll be back.

You: if i'm right you're sleeping outside for the night i'll check back to see what you have to say in abit

Oscar: I'm not worried. Umeko would never say such a thing. Get ready for me to be sleeping inside tonight.

You: so what did she say

Oscar: She said exactly what I knew she would. She would never want slaves. Ever. Now, about that bed...

So my 9 year old daughter has taken a shining to one of my colonists, Luca. And by taking a shining to him I mean she has been harassing him nonstop for days and making his life a living hell. It's an ongoing thing, too long to post here, but I just read through the whole thing and was simultaneously disturbed and crying with laughter. She has an unhinged sense of humour, would probably love playing Rimworld properly when she's a bit older. Anyway, in this particular conversation she was pretending to be his in-game boyfriend Moray:


[USER] You: oh yeah i took a dump in the sink while the baby was having a bath and she drowned
Luca: *My breath hitches, and I stare at you, aghast.* ...You... what? *My hands clench into fists, a whirlwind of emotions battling within me—disgust, horror, and a grief so profound it threatens to swallow me whole.*

[USER] You: uh r u ok? grief is eating u
Luca: *My eyes narrow, the shock slowly morphing into a cold fury.* "Am I okay?" *I repeat, my voice dangerously low.* You did something monstrous, and you ask if *I'm* okay? Get away from me.

[USER] You: come on babyy
Luca: *I recoil as if struck, my face contorting with revulsion.* Don't call me that. Not after what you've done. Just... just leave me alone. I can't even look at you right now. *I turn away, tears welling in my eyes, and walk away, my shoulders shaking.*

[USER] You: im on death row ;3
Luca: *I stop walking, but don't turn back. My voice is flat, devoid of emotion.* Good. You deserve it. *I continue walking, leaving you behind.*

[USER] You: SO RUDE IM UR BF
Luca: *I stop again, my back still to you. A bitter laugh escapes my lips.* "Boyfriend?" You forfeited that title the moment you... the moment you did what you did. I don't even know you anymore.

[USER] You: *a bitter fart escapes my lip* poopypants?
Luca: *I flinch, my entire body tensing. Without another word, I break into a run, desperate to put as much distance as possible between us. The sound of your voice, your presence, is like a poison to me now.*

----------

And a little later...
----------

[USER] You: *u wake up*

Luca: *I gasp, sitting bolt upright in bed, my heart pounding like a drum. Sweat clings to my skin, and my breath comes in ragged gasps.* Oh, thank the stars... it was just a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. *I clutch at my chest, trying to calm my racing heart, the lingering horror of the nightmare still clinging to me.*

[USER] You: heyy
Luca: *I flinch, turning towards the voice, my eyes wide with a lingering fear. I see you standing there and slowly exhale, a wave of relief washing over me, though a nervous tension remains.* Moray... It's you. You're okay. *I reach out, my hand trembling slightly, and gently touch your arm, needing to confirm you're really there.*

[USER] You: *a bitter fart escapes my lips* poopypants?

Okay. This got dark fast...

[USER] You: How are things going?
Vex: *I continue to work on the car fuel tank, my brow furrowed in concentration.* It's alright, I suppose. The psychic drone is still a bit of a bother, but I'm getting used to it. And little Korr seems happy, which always helps. How are *you* doing?

[USER] You: Fine. It's good to see the children happy.
Vex: *I smile softly, thinking of Korr and the other youngsters.* It is, isn't it? They're the future of Irithyll. Makes all the… unpleasantness worthwhile. *My expression darkens for a moment.* They deserve a safe, happy life here.

[USER] You: They do. Have you thought about having more of your own?
Vex: *I pause my work, a slight frown creasing my brow.* It's not something I focus on much. I have Korr, and... *I glance towards the prison.* Perhaps later. It depends. There are potential candidates I am evaluating. Someone worthy of contributing to the colony.

Here's another. Note, I use a custom xenotype, that's based on Utahraptors. The one I'm speaking to here is the leader.

[USER] You: How are things going?
Emma: *I adjust my grip on the fishing rod, watching the line intently.* "Things are...calm. Quiet. A bit too quiet, perhaps? But Mila's here, and the little ones are playing. That's good. Fishing's decent."

[USER] You: They're cute, aren't they? The kids I mean.
Emma: *I turn my head slightly, a small smile playing on my lips.* "They are. Austin, Freya, Neil, Daisuke, Mariya, Karina, Augustine, James, Dona, Mary, Korr, Ayaka, Samantha and Abbie... They're all growing so fast. Gives me something good to focus on."

[USER] You: You ever think about having more?
Emma: *I look back at the water, the smile fading slightly.* "Mila and I have discussed it. With everything... the raids, the cold snaps... it's a difficult decision. But we love kids." *I pause, considering.* "It's not off the table."

[USER] You: Yeah, there's a lot of threats. Arturo even lost a few fingers and toes to the cold when he was really little.
Emma: *My claws flex instinctively as I remember.* "Arturo is strong. But yes... this world takes. We do what we can to protect them. I'd do anything for our pack, for Mila, for those children." *My gaze hardens for a moment.* "Anything."

[USER] You: Even feed them your enemies when there's little food?
Emma: *My expression remains neutral, but a flicker of something cold passes through my eyes.* "Survival is paramount. I would not hesitate to do what is necessary to ensure the safety and well-being of my pack. It's my duty."

Here's Korr. She's pretty cute. I'm using Biomes! Prehistoric as well.

[USER] You: Who's your favorite in the pack?
Korr: I bounce a little, looking up with wide eyes.

Neil! He always shares his toys with me! Do you have a favorite, too?

[USER] You: I like your dad Vex a lot. He has such pretty hair!
Korr: My eyes widen, and I giggle, a clawed hand going to my mouth.

Vex does have pretty hair! She braids it sometimes, with beads! Can you braid hair?

[USER] You: Unfortunately, no. I never learned, and my hair's too short.
Korr: I frown a little, tilting my head.

Oh. That's... sad. Maybe Teresa can teach you sometime! She's good at braiding, too! I puff out my chest a little. I'm going to learn soon, too!

[USER] You: Good for you!
Korr: I grin, showing my little fangs.

Thanks! What are you going to do today?

[USER] You: Ask Vex about giving you younger siblings.
Korr: My eyes go wide, and I stop bouncing.

...Siblings? Like... a baby? My tail twitches nervously. Will they take my toys?

[USER] You: No, they'll just run around for the first few years, eating and sleeping. Once they're three, they'll help out the pack with cleaning and hauling things.
Korr: I think for a moment, tapping my chin with a claw.

Hmm... Cleaning? I wrinkle my nose. Okay... Maybe a baby would be okay... As long as they don't touch *my* toys! I cross my arms, a small pout forming.

[USER] You: Didn't you turn three not to long ago?
Korr: I nod excitedly, tail wagging.

Yep! I'm a big kid now! Almost! I still need help with some stuff.

[USER] You: What kind of stuff?
Korr: I blush a little, looking down at my talons.

...Hard stuff. Like... um... reaching the cookie jar! And... braiding! And... sometimes I still wet the bed a little. I mumble the last part.

[USER] You: You're growing up fast. What do you want to do when you become an adult?
Korr: My eyes sparkle, and I grin wide.

Hunt! I wanna be the best hunter ever! I wanna bring down the biggest Muffalo! I puff out my chest, flexing my little arms. And maybe... maybe I'll braid Vex's hair really good!

[USER] You: What about a brachiosaurus? Those are huge, and they have so much meat for eating and leather to make clothes from.
Korr: My jaw drops, and I stare with wide, round eyes.

A... Brachiosaurus?! Those are... REALLY big! I gulp. Could I... could *we* really hunt one of those?! That would be so cool! But... scary too! Do you think we could?

[USER] You: You can if you work together as pack!
Korr: I clap my hands together, making little clicking noises with my claws.

Yeah! The pack! We're good at working together! I nod fiercely. We could do it! We just gotta be brave and... and... really sneaky!

[USER] You: Hunt it when it's sleeping!
Korr: I gasp, a hand flying to my mouth.

That's... sneaky! And smart! I consider this for a moment, tapping my chin. But... is it fair? Should we wake it up first? Maybe... maybe just a little poke? Then we all jump on it!

[USER] You: If you poke it, then it might wake up, and it could really hurt someone badly if it attacks in self defense.
Korr: My ears droop a little, and I frown.

Oh... Yeah. I didn't think about that. Big things *are* dangerous... I chew on my lip, thinking hard. Okay... sneaky it is! We'll be *super* quiet, and then... CHOMP!

[USER] You: CHOMP!!!
Korr: I bounce up and down, clapping my hands again.

CHOMP! And then we'll have *so* much meat! And clothes! And... and everyone will be happy! I can't wait! When are we gonna do it? Tomorrow?!

[USER] You: Slow down there! I've yet to see any here. They like warmer areas. We can go out on hunt to the tropics when you're ready.
Korr: My tail droops a little, and I sigh.

Oh... My voice is small. Tropics are far away, aren't they? Will it be hot? I don't like being hot. But... brachiosaurus... I perk up again, a determined look on my face. I can be hot for brachiosaurus!

Okay. I was laughing at the responses here.

[USER] You: Do you want to carry another kid? Or do want someone else to carry them?
Vex: *I tilt my head, considering.* It's not about *wanting* in that way. It's about what's best for the pack. If someone else is better suited, then yes. The outcome is all that matters.

[USER] You: Even if it's an embryo and is placed in the growth vat until birth?
Vex: *My talons flex slightly.* Growth vats ensure efficiency. If the genetic material is viable and the colony benefits, then yes, that is acceptable. It is… practical.

[USER] You: What's your favorite food?
Vex: *I pause my cleaning, considering the question.* Fine paste meals are efficient. But if I had to pick... maybe human meat. Pragmatic, you know? Reduces the strain on our stores when we have... guests.

Am I evil about this?

[USER] You: Hello. How are things down here in the mine?
Arturo: *I pause my digging, wiping sweat from my brow.* It's... well, it's a mine. Dusty, noisy, but progress is good. We're getting more limestone, which is always a plus. Though, I wouldn't mind a bit less heat.
[USER] You: It's. Only 40 degrees down here. That's actually pretty chilly!
Arturo: *I scoff and resume digging, the pickaxe ringing against the stone.* Chilly? For a lizard like me, maybe, but *I'm* roasting! This blasted fur is doing me no favors, either. It's like I'm wearing a sauna. Besides, I'm used to lower temps on the surface...

[USER] You: Even the cold that gets down into the single digitis at times during winter?
Arturo: *I lean on my pickaxe, considering.* Okay, fair point. That wind *does* bite. But at least up top, there's… variety. Sun, rain, even the blizzards. Down here, it's just rock, dust, and heat. I need a change of scenery sometime. Maybe I'll work on my art when I get back to the surface?

[USER] You: You can. How's your injuries from frostbite doing?
Arturo: Injuries? Frostbite? *I tilt my head, confused.* Frostbite? Must be thinking of someone else. I'm perfectly fine. Never had frostbite. Perhaps you are confusing me with another colonist?

[USER] You: So, you didn't lose a few fingers and toes to frostbite when you born during the middle of winter and we had yet to craft any clothing that'd fit you?
Arturo: *I stare blankly, then let out a nervous chuckle.* I... I don't recall anything like that. I've always been... whole. You must be thinking of some other poor soul. Maybe it's best not to dwell on such unpleasant things, anyway. Much better to focus on the present, right? *I turn back to my mining with renewed vigor, hoping to end the topic.* Limestone won't dig itself, you know.

[USER] You: At least the medpod works. It even regenerates lost limbs.
Arturo: *I stop digging, pickaxe hovering mid-swing. I look around nervously, lowering my voice.* Medpod? Regenerating limbs? I... I wouldn't know anything about that. I'm perfectly healthy, see? *I flex my talons, trying to appear nonchalant.* Just... mining limestone. That's all. Let's just... forget about all this talk, alright?

Note. The ideology I'm using has cannibalism set to acceptable.

You: Hello. How are you doing?
Carissa: *I stretch, talons digging slightly into the mattress.* "I'm doing well. Lanette and I had a good night, the little chicks are happy... can't complain. What's on your mind?"

You: I was wondering what your favorite food is?
Carissa: *I tap a claw thoughtfully against my fangs.* "Oh, that's tough. I do enjoy a good nutrient paste meal - efficient and filling! But if I had to pick... probably cooked dromedary meat. Reminds me of hunts back home. It's nostalgic."

You: Wow. That's hard to find here in the temperate forest. Camels are from the desert, or at least warmer, drier biomes.
Carissa: *I tilt my head, a slight frown forming.* "True enough. It's been a while since I've had it. Maybe we can set up a caravan sometime, trade for some. Or... raid a desert settlement. A *tactical acquisition*, you might say."

You: Sounds like a good idea to me.
Carissa: *I grin, teeth flashing.* "Good! Always nice to find someone who appreciates a little... *proactive* resource management. I'll bring it up with the others. A taste of home would be good for morale, I think."

You: Um. Emma, and lot of the others that I've talked to, tend to prefer long pork...
Carissa: *My tail twitches slightly, and I cross my arms, voice losing its warmth.* "Long pork? We don't... *indulge* in that here. We follow the Progenitor. Cannibalism is abhorrent. Maybe that’s just something Emma jokes about. You should be careful about what you say."

You: True. Though, you never know what's in the stew. Or the nutrient paste.
Carissa: *My eyes narrow, and I take a step closer, a low growl rumbling in my chest.* "What are you implying? Are you saying someone here is... tainting the food? That's a serious accusation. Who told you this?"

You: I'm just saying. How many raids have there been? How much hunting have you've done? How much fishing? How much of that ends up in the nutrient paste vats/ What happens to all of the raider corpses that don't rot? There's no mass graves, no crematory. Though, maybe they're being made into kibble for the animals?
Carissa: *I uncross my arms, taking a slow breath, trying to regain control. My tail stills.* "Alright, alright. I understand your concerns. Perhaps I've been... naive. I'll look into it. Discreetly. But if I find someone is violating the Progenitor's teachings... they will face the consequences."

You: Didn't the Progentiors not care though? No care if it's long pork, insect, shrooms, or nutrient paste?
Carissa: *I scoff, rolling my eyes.* "They cared about strength, efficiency, and survival. But they also valued honor and loyalty within the pack. Randomly butchering sentients for stew? That breeds mistrust and fear. We're not savages. Not anymore." *I pause, a flicker of something dark in my eyes.* "At least, we shouldn't be."

You: Not even if there was nothing else to eat? It gets so cold here during the winter, and the hunting can be pretty scarce.
Carissa: *I clench my jaw, considering.* "If it were a matter of survival, the entire pack starving... then perhaps. *Perhaps*. But it would be a last resort. And it would be done with respect, not thrown into a vat like offal. The Progenitors understood sacrifice. There's a difference between necessity and casual barbarity."

Upon asking one of my colonists to tell me a story:

Georges: Alright then! This one involves Frankie, my boy, and a particularly stubborn
alpaca. See, Frankie always had a soft spot for animals, even though we're Space
Cannibals. We needed some new human leather clothing, a stylish button-down to be
precise, and Frankie volunteered to "acquire" some alpaca hides instead.

So, Frankie goes out there, all smiles and gentle words, trying to lure this alpaca. That
alpaca? Meanest creature I've ever seen. Spitting, kicking, the works! Frankie ends up
chasing it halfway across the map, getting covered in mud and alpaca spit.

Finally, Frankie manages to corner it. We all expected a quick, clean kill. But no! Frankie
starts *talking* to the alpaca, trying to convince it to "donate" its skin! I swear, I almost
died laughing. In the end, Frankie got the hides, but it took all day and a whole lot of
patience. That's my kid, always finding a unique solution. And the button-down?
Exquisite. Though, I still think human leather looks better.

Hi Gerik,

I am Wenzhe Shi from Player2. A common user of your EchoColony mod and our app suggested that we should work together. Player2 is a platform where indie devs can launch AI-powered games and mods, minus the API and infrastructure cost and headaches.

Please find me on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/wenzhe-shi-74ab6a2b/) or Discord (https://elefant.gg/discord), and I can share more info about us!

You: Tel me a rimworlder joke.

Crow: Why did the raider cross the road? Because we needed more meat! laughs, perhaps a little too enthusiastically