So ever since I started using this mod, I've been annoyed with how pawns with the trait "polyamorous" get a mood debuff from only having one partner.

I am polyamorous, and I like this trait very much because I love getting representation for polyamory. But the way this works in this mod it really perpetuates an awful stereotype about polyamory, namely the misconception that polyamorous people always want more than one partner and feel like one isn't enough.

In reality, polyamorous people are unhappy when they are in a monogamous relationship _structure_. That is, if they have an exclusivity agreement that they don't really consent to. If they partner expects to be the only one.

But relationships can totally have a polyamorous structure and be monogamous in practice. That would mean there is an explicit agreement that everyone is free to have other partners, but the involved people simply happen to end up with only one. Maybe they want more partners but can't find any good candidates. Maybe they are just busy. Maybe they don't socialize much and don't meet many people in the first place. Maybe they feel like they don't have the time and bandwidth for a new partner. Whatever. Just like monogamous people are sometimes single even though there is no exclusivity agreement that stops them from getting a partner, polyamorous people sometimes have only one partner even though there is no exclusivity agreement that stops them from getting a second partner.

So, it is about the principle. It is about "if you came across a good match, would you be free to pursue that relationship". It is not about "how many partners do you have in practice".

Can polyamorous people sometimes be unhappy if they want a second partner and can't find one? Yes, if their needs are unmet because their existing partner can't satisfy their needs, such as when their existing partner doesn't want to move in with them and they want a live-in partner. But the thing is, if you have unmet romantic needs, such as "I want a partner that I live with", you'd be unhappy when you're single, too. Then it doesn't matter if you have zero partners, or one non-live-in partner. But in this mod, pawns with this trait don't get a mood debuff when they are single, so it doesn't make any sense at all. Furthermore, unmet relationship needs kind of overlap with the "codependent" trait, too.

So what are some ways to depict polyamory in a more realistic way? Maybe you still want some mood debuffs to nerf it a bit?

One possibility would be to add another trait "monogamous". A monogamous pawn considers it very important to be in a relationship with an exclusivity agreement. And if a pawn with the polyamory trait and a pawn with a monogamy trait end up in a relationship, both of them get a mood debuff simply because they are incompatible and can't agree on whether they want an exclusivity agreement. So, in this case, if the polyamorous person gets a mood debuff, the debuff doesn't come from "I have only one partner", but from "I have a partner that wants an exclusivity agreement".

Another possibility would be to integrate it with Ideology and the precepts about bigamy, polygamy, free love, etc. A polyamorous pawn could be unhappy if they follow an ideoligion that is hostile to polyamory, or maybe if such an ideoligion is dominant in their colony, similar to how polyamorous people in reality feel unhappy about the stigma attached to polyamory in most cultures.

Those are my suggestions.