Comprehensive Goblin Techies guide

The most comprehensive and in-depth guide for the Goblin Techies hero, specializing in area denial and indirect support.

Introduction

The Goblin Techies are unique heroes with a playstyle that differs from that of every other hero, with abilities almost exclusively oriented towards passive area denial, maintaining map control and punishing initiation attempts by the enemy team. However, we won't need them.

Disclaimer & Legal Warning

I am not to be held responsible for angry threats from your jealous teammates, hurtful taunts from bitter opponents or STDs acquired as a result of using my guide, directly or indirectly. By reading this statement and/or guide, thinking about reading this statement and/or guide or pondering about the possibility of thinking of reading this statement and/or guide you explicitly free me of any responsibility, liability or duty related in any manner to the potential consequences of you reading this guide, regardless of their nature.

Skill Guide

Level 1 - Suicide Squad, Attack!
Level 2 - Stats
Level 3 - Suicide Squad, Attack!
Level 4 - Stats
Level 5 - Suicide Squad, Attack!
Level 6 - Stats
Level 7 - Suicide Squad, Attack!
Level 8+ - Stats

Item Build Guide

->
Boots of Speed -> Boots of Travel


Eul's Scepter of Divinity


Eul's Scepter of Divinity


Eul's Scepter of Divinity


Eul's Scepter of Divinity


Eul's Scepter of Divinity

Gameplay Guide

After months of rigorous theorycrafting, playtesting and reiteration, I have managed to come up with an easy to follow, infallible, universal set of instructions for playing as the Techies. This guide assumes you're using the item and skill builds exactly as described previously in this guide.

Step 1.- Move towards an enemy hero by right clicking close to them.
Step 2.- Press E.

Optionally, if you have a microphone available, it is highly recommended to scream or otherwise emit some sort of loud noise to establish your utter dominance of the battlefield and instill pure terror into your enemies' hearts.

Finishing Words & Special Thanks

I hope you have enjoyed this guide. Initially, I was hesitant to write all of my knowledge down, afraid of the effects that unleashing such useful knowledge might have. However, I trust that its users will use it for what it was intended: becoming pick-up artists.

Special thanks to my friends for being terrible at the game, Valve for finally establishing an inversely proportional relationship between effort and community approval, and the entire nation of Russia for turning what would otherwise be an outdated and mediocre game into an excellent language and slang learning tool.

[chia]

this joke make my day.Nice joke :)
Looking forward for more joke like this in the future

[full stamina gaming]

Blinking or going invisible before using E isn't fun. Your enemies don't see you coming, thus they have no chance to feel the terror.

[[Oe]]

missing blink dagger for blink and E

[76561198105156931]

my techies! dont make fool of him guys, i love him (or them?)

[Sn1vi]

very bad

[TheKutKu]

you made my day

[Rath]

You got me there...

[full stamina gaming]

No. Have you?

[Rath]

"if you have a microphone available, it is highly recommended to scream or otherwise emit some sort of loud noise to... instill pure terror into your enemies' hearts."

Because all-talk voice chat is definitely a thing. Have you ever played this game?

[full stamina gaming]

You're the nub. Please uninstall Dota and your computer forever.