MvM Medic: The Hidden Starman (Updated 11/26/2013)

That's right, everybody. If anyone is even more hated than Spy or Sniper in MvM, it's the Medic. Is Medic more than dead weight, or is he hated rightly so? Find out now!

Important Notice

I think it's just about official that I am discontinuing updating/writing guides for MvM. MvM Solly most likely won't see the light of day. Thanks again to everyone who viewed and I hope the guides helped you. They were great practice for me and I had a lot of fun, but now, I'm moving on. I hope the information will still be relevant at the time you are reading, and good luck on those Aussies or whatever is the next big thing on TF2 at the moment.

- Upsilon Force

Please Note

If you aren't a fan of mine already, you might be unaware that I have a very slow, poor computer and very slow internet. I don't have the technology for AWSUM PIK CHURS N VIDE-OHS. I just have to make due with what I have. No luxury of complaining. I can't make the wrapping look pretty, but I can promise the contents will be good.

UPDATE: I'm aware that a HUGE update reworked Medic in MvM. I'll keep some things intact and rewrite others. Thanks for your patience! This WILL remain the best Medic guide in MvM. Ever. :P

Intro

I've been getting requests from people in my other guides asking "Plz make ppl stop playin medic" or "can u make a medic guide?/" Medic in MvM is......difficult to describe, so I'll compare him with something. A good Medic is like finding a Starman in Mario: you think it's useless because you can't find one, but when you do, you scream "WHOO HOOO! I FOUND ONE! I...AM...INVINCIBLE!!" It's the best I can come up with. My verdict: Medic is extremely underrated and has gotten a bad reputation due to common poor performances. If you want to play Medic, be aware that EVERYONE will try to stop you, so if you want to play it, pray for a gracious team, or walk in knowing EXACTLY what you're talking about. It's soothing to know that whoever is playing Medic has a LOT of experience. Good Medics in MvM are rare, but let's find out together how to catch that elusive Starman!

Who is this "Upsilon" guy yappin' about Medic?

I am the successful author of several guides that usually hit the #1 mark in Steam's Community Guides for Teamfortress 2. I reversed the hatred for Spy, gave a different play style for Pyro, and have the best-rated MvM Scout guide yet! I made my debut with MvM Spy: The Angel of Expert Mode. I've written a few others. If you disagree with this one, try out my others instead!
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=153553501
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=148119190
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=150296100
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=150849187
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=152626791&tscn=1372955381#97255
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=156320959

I play a lot of MvM and have a lot of experience with several classes. I usually catch attention due to taking different perspectives on things that most don't consider. I have a tough challenge again: I must show the world that Medic is not dead weight, but a hidden Starman! If you think I did it, please rate, comment, favorite, and tell everyone you know about this guide! With all that aside, LET'S-A GO!

Overview

First, Medic is hated because no one knows how to play a healer when fighting off hordes of enemies. Medic's healing is often obsolete; the damage taken by teammates FAR outdoes any healing you do, so our Starman isn't here to heal. The idea of MvM is to cause overwhelming damage, but Medic doesn't bring any of that either. "So, the 'healer' can't heal or do damage in a damage-oriented game. What makes him so good?" The answer: crits. The Medic has a very awesome weapon (my absolute favorite!) that can give teammates 100% critcal shot chance for 14 seconds! On ocassion, he CAN still cause enough healing to save teammates from time to time, but you shouldn't rely on it. You just kinda "try" and if you save 'em, you save 'em. Medic is played very weird here. He's actually "in the fray" more than most. He's bizarre, but if you can do it right, critical hits do 3x the damage. So when can we have the Starman on our team? It all comes down to: is your Medic any good. If he is, he will substitute your second DPS slot (Heavy or Soldier). If he's bad, he needs to play as a second Heavy, Soldier, (depending on your team preference) or leave the game. (Your Demo and Engineer should be enough to handle the small bots. Medic only comes into play with giants, tanks, or if you are being overwhelmed by a horde of Heavy bots. Don't worry, it's still amazingly useful!) Since crits cause 3x damage, you can either have two Heavies - doubling the damage of a Heavy - or you can have a good Medic that will cause TRIPLE the damage of a Heavy. Sounds pretty nice, eh? Luckily for you guys, I just so happened to have met one and he'll write the guide instead of me. Special thanks, Starman!

Meet the Starman

'Sup. Yeah, I'm the freakin' Starman. "Aww he's so cute ^_^" Shaddup. Didn't you read the intro? I cause more damage than TWO Heavies, so watch your mouth, Dumbo. Some loser named Upsilon let me talk to you narrow-minded slobs about how I ain't useless. I guess because he let me talk, he ain't so bad. I've been insta-kicked out of hundreds of games. "Oh medic iz so stoopid he doez no damage we dont need a medic we have to carry him he always gets carried; carry this, carry that, myeh myeh myeh" well enough's enough, you gits! I'm not talkin' about all those noobs that queue up with the Stock Medigun, I'm talkin' about what you all been missin' out on. I've carried more noob Marios to Bowser's castle than Game Genie has. I've been bailin' out noobs since before most of you were born, so listen up! If you see a Starman that does the following, kick yourself in the crotch before you kick him!

Starman's Gear: Primary Weapons

You won't be usin' these much, so it's kinda up to you. If you take one for it's damage and upgrade it, thinkin' that it'll be useful, then you'll also believe me when I tell you: there's a secret Green Shroom down that cliff....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLm-HKTsEp8
...good, my idiot filter still works after all these years. I remember when one angry nerd fell for that on his last life, HAH! The memories. If you're still here....well I ain't impressed yet.

This thing here is called the Overdose. Click that white text there to go to wiki page, 'cuz I ain't typin' all dat. Read it yourself, but here's its highlight: you run up to 10% faster depending on how much Uber Charge you've built. If ya' got 100% charge, you run 10% faster. Not bad for free. Yeah, I know: it looks like a drink cooler with a gas hose strapped to it. It's ugly, but nifty.




The only other weapon that your small brain should even THINK about takin' is the Crusader's Crossbow. It's healing shot ain't exactly it's highlight, but it's all too satisfying to have that blue sniper beam pointed at you, so you let an arrow fly through his own scope. If you're crazy enough to take a crossbow to a gunfight, you just might be my kinda player! If you've got a Heavy or Demo who don't move much, this bow's healing is pretty darn strong. Over 100hp sometimes! What? "How much more healing is that per second compared to the Medi-gun's healing?" What do I look like, a math professor? Do it yourself, nerd.

Sryinge Gun? It does nothing but pitiful damage! You won't even use it that much! Blutsauger? You want health on-hit? You wana STAY in combat and have your auto-healing reduced? You freakin' stupid? On-hit effects don't even work on the tanks! (The only exception to dat is Heavy's Knockback Rage) If you don't stick to the two above guns I say you take, you deserve to have a Lakitu split your empty skull open with a Spiny, followed by a votekick. Don't come cryin' tah me when that happens! Chump.

Starman's Gear: Secondary

Look at my lips. I said look at 'em! I know I don't have any lips; I don't care! I'ma say this reeeeal slow: THIS. IS. THE. ONLY. SECONDARY / MEDI-GUN. THAT. YOU. SHOULD. TAKE. EVER. I can only think of maybe ONE exception when I had to improvise, but other than that, this is it. MvM needs damage. If you don't bring damage, YOU WASTIN' A PLAYER SLOT, PAL! It charges 25% faster than the stock Medi-gun and, when you charge this sweet baby, it gives your heal target 100% CRIT CHANCE! That's right: nothin' but glowin' , red projectiles flyin' right at the unsuspecting robots' faces. Well grats; you finally scored a hidden Starman and you didn't even have to smash your face into yellow block with a big ? on it. Spoiled rotten, I tell ya'. You'll be (nearly) invincible, nothin' can touch you without exploding from the "power of my awesome". Now see what you been missin' out on? It's all the thrill of fireworks and all the pleasure of killing!...well, killing robots. You can break those, they ain't got no feelin's. What? I ain't gettin' soft! Just sayin'.

Medi-gun...... Gee, I sure appreciate you makin' me invincible doctor! 8 whole seconds without gettin' hurt? That's great. Fantastic. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT'S OFF? We both die, that's what. We don't need to last longer, we need to KILL FASTER.

Vaccinator Makin' a Terminator joke would be better than tryin' to use this, and that's BAD. What would I compare it to? Remeber when Mario ate a shroom and he got bigger and stronger? Remeber when he got hit once and shrank? It's all right there: this is just a worse version of the previously mentioned!

VACCINATOR UPDATE! After da Two Cities update, I've been dustin' this thing off a bit and I gotta admit: Vac ain't so bad! With da uber split up into 4 parts, you can res someone instantly witout wastin' too much uber! The resistances are pretty sweet, too for the first couple waves. It's not terrible anymore, but I'd still say switch back to Kritz when ya get yer Refund Upgrade ticket..... OK ok, thanks to this guy for remindin' me to update dis. Dere, I said it. http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198061005939

Quick-Fix...ok, to be fair, I don't mind this one TOO much. On waves where there are a lot of Uber-Charged bots goin' through, I sometimes change to this just to keep the Medic-hater's alive long enough to fight back. Once their Ubers are down, they ain't so tough! But when the Ubers start to thin in numbers and the giants show up, might be a good time to switch back. Maybe the Vaccinator can help a bit here too. Can't throw too much hate around. If you can improvise like this, you might impress me. (Update: With the new ressurection mechanic, this medi gun is nearly as viable as the kritz. However, if you use this and your team isn't winning, kritz is a sure bet. If using QF, max it's healing mastery ASAP for super-fast, non-uber ressing!)

Starman's Gear: Melee Weapons

ONCE AGAIN: DIS. IS. DA. ONLY. SAW. YOU. TAKE. EVER. Ah, this little darlin' is my baby in MvM! Don't leave spawn without it! Everytime you hit a robot with this sleek, beautiful, shiny, gor-...eh weapon, you get 25% added to the charge you got right now! If you got 10% charge and hit someone with this, it jumps to 35% charge and so on. Ok, nerds, whats 25 x 4= ? TOO LATE. 100. That means in just 4 hits, YOUR UBER CHARGE IS FULL! So you can crit charge someone, smack some robot heads around, then YOU CAN CHARGE AGAIN! With some common sense (that I'm guessin' you lack), YOU CAN REMAIN CRIT CHARGED ALMOST THE WHOLE WAVE! Yeah, so I like bold print and underlining. It is important and exciting, it'n it?

Ain't nothin' to the Bonesaw, but a little more speed/damage. Why would you even take it? The Amputator has everything the Bonesaw has and more! It's a straight-up upgrade! No reason to take the old saw. Amputator's healing is about the same as your Medi-gun, so it won't do ya' much good. So you got the same, lame healing as the Medi-gun, but on multiple targets. I ain't applaudin' ya'. Solemn Vow? Solemn piece of Bowser's tail! You don't need to see nobody's health! You either heal, crit charge, or melee! Vita-Saw?! It only works WHEN YOU DIE. Is that some kinda objective for you? What kinda idiot uses this? You also lose 10hp! Get this thing outta my face!

Starman's Upgrades (Outdated)

This is gonna be rugged, so hang with me. A lot of you aren't gonna agree. I couldn't care less. Whine to Upsilon about it. If you get $400 to start off with, buy 1 point of Ubercharge Duration, then 2 Uber canteens. You can goof off with your stupid "move speed" and "jump height" when you get the spare dough to do so. Who do you think you are anyway, Sonic the Hedgehog?
Max out your duration first. Next, buy 2 spots of "Melee Swing Speed" for that wonderful, delightfu- oops...Ubersaw....I can't help myself! I love this thing! (Don't tell 'er I said this, but I'm buyin' a ring today! I'm marryin' this dame!) Max out your melee swing speed as soon as you can. Now, work your way through Uber Charge Rate. After that, it should be about Wave 3 where you can buy Share Canteen upgrade. Why not earlier? The early waves are easy-peasy, and your team shouldn't even need you yet, so we gotta get our core build first. Uber Duration and Uber Rate are pretty dang important for obvious reasons. You wana be critin' long, and critin' often. It's the only thing you're good for, anyway! Make yourself useful, dummy. From here I go to crit resistance and a point or two into health regen (if on Mecha Engie where dere's tons of crits). Since you gonna be meleein' so much, Movement Speed is a big deal! Make sure you max this later in the mission. Every time you go to the upgrade bar (it ain't no "station", it's a bar! Look at it, for Peach's sake!), you wana get as many - or max out on - Uber canteens as possible. EVERYTIME, GOT IT? You're kinda like that Pyro guy; you use those a whole lot 'cuz you gettin' in fights! (I don't make fun of the Pyro too much. He uses fire. I like dat.) I'll tell ya' more on why later. Why not now? Stayin' organized. You'll get over it.

Still here, huh? You thinkin' "Ok, maybe I was wrong about kickin' all dem Medics too soon." You darn right you were wrong....about some, but you seem to be catchin' on. Maybe you ain't so bad either. If you think you're up to the challenge, strap on your overalls, plumber, we're goin' to the basics!

Starman's Basics: Stay Alive. Stupid.

Too many Medics make the dumb-Goomba move of stayin' out in the open for some sight-seein'.


Guess they think it's a good idea to marvel at the pretty robots while in their LOS (Line of Sight)? I've got news for you, Toad-wit: this ain't a tour of sight-seein' it's a tour of duty! That means YOU'RE GETTIN' SHOT AT! If you die, you ain't chargin' nobody. Gee, tough to do when you're DEAD, isn't it?! If you ain't chargin', you ain't doin' damage, so you ain't doin' NOTHIN'.

See that cheese head over there with the wrench? He's called the Engineer. He builds stuff that protects his team, heals them, gives them ammo, and teleports them across the map. Sounds like a safe place? Well no Koopa-shell, "dummpkof"; it IS safer! Stay behind cover and try not to make eye contact with the robots. Think of it as like Chuck Norris: if you look at him for too long, your head explodes.

Stayin' alive means you also gotta know when to run for it. If you got an Uber'd giant wastin' the cheese-head's sentry gun and is runnin' your fatty through a meat grinder, it's time to Racoon-tail it outta there!

Starman's Basics: Who'm I Healin'?

Nearly the whole game, you should be healin' that 600 lb. bald guy with the short legs. He carries the team's heavy weapons, so they call him the Heavy Weapons....guy. Gee I bet the creators of this game gave demselves a brain aneurysm, they were thinkin' so hard for that creative name, but they call him "Heavy" for short (veeeery fitting). If he fights ya' over healin' just him the whole time, tell him "It'll keep your arteries un-clogged" he'll shut up. Since the Heavy is the guy doin' most of the damage on your team, it's common-freakin-sense to keep the charge on him. If he's a fat doofus that gets himself killed, it IS an option to crit charge someone else like your Demo(litions) man, Pyro, or if you're really out of options, your Scout. Crit chargin' a cheese-head that has the Widowmaker sounds like a party, too! If your eyes are wearin' out by readin' this: 1) You're freakin' pathetic. Mann up! 2) Fine, wimp, I'll make it short. Heal the fat guy with the big gun and only charge him. Charge other people if he's dead and only if you think you really need to. If someone's dyin' and shoutin' MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC! and you ain't charged, top him off. Not to save him, TO SHUT HIM UP! Crud! These people can reenact a scene from Saving Private Ryan because they stubbed their toe! Grab a red shroom and grow up, ya' big baby!

Serious Starman: Stayin' Charged

So you made it this far....I'm almost impressed! Ok, hotshot, let's see what ya' really made of!
If you want your Starman to BE the Starman, he's gotta know how to "Melee Charge" (registered trademark, pal! Use with permission. I coined myself. Clever, no?). So here's how dis works: You run after some bot - don't matter what size. Heck, you can beat on a robo pixie or a sci-fi capital spaceship for all I care; you still get Ubercharge from it ('cept for tanks). When your melee swing is slow, only go for 2-3 hits. Ya' don't always gotta go for the 4 swings, even when ya' melee is swingin' so wild 'n fast it's like a troll tryin' to argue. Think about it: you always heal the fatty, so you've already got some charge. Let's say: 10%. If you land only two hits, you're already at 60%!

(Somethin' else you should know: If your Starman is healin' somebody that's gettin' a SEPARATE source of healin' at the SAME TIME, your Ubercharge rate will increase 50% SLOWER. That includes other Medics, and cheese-head's Dispenser. The fatty is gonna be so attatched to that thing, he might as well be plugged into it like an Enegizer battery. You can overheal other folks to Ubercharge faster, but once you get that charge, don't take the beam off of Cheeks McGlutton.)

....you just died. What did we go over earlier?? Don't die. Stupid. What's that? You were tryin' the melee charge technique? Obviously, you did it wrong. Idiot. Let me show you: Check to see if there is some kinda tall, thick object layin' around. Could be anything: sheet metal, wooden fence, a pile of tires, anything that can block vision. Before you go playin' Geronimo, get close to this kinda thing. Maybe a wall would be best. Use your Uber canteen first (facepalm), then run out, hit a bot up to 4 times, then make a break for that object for cover from their retaliation (most of the time, yer' gonna have to use 2 canteens to make sure you're safe. That's why you always want 2-3 of them eveytime you go to the bar.) Be mindful of your current Ubercharge. If ya' got 75% charge, how many times do ya' have to hit 'em before you're charge? Once, my King of Derp. So, hit 'em once, then racoon-tail it outta there!

Serious Starman: When do I charge?

Ya' charge for two things (mostly): giants and tanks. Say ya' get 3 giant Demo bots in a row? Now's the time to unleash the beast! All the other times, you're sittin' next to cheese-head and fatty tryin' not to die. Don't just sit dere! Bombs are flyin' in! You gotta be on ya' toes, lead-foot! You see a bomb? Stand in it. No, serious. Stand in it. It's good for your health. It regulates metabolism. It cures cancer. It removes all that Kool-Aid you've been drinkin'. A green shroom will pop out of it in a few seconds. BOOM! You're dead. Dummy. Heh, I love that gag. About those tanks: when you healin' somebody, you can look to see how much ammo they have IN THEIR CURRENT MAGAZINE. If your healin' Cheeks, you can see his total ammo. If it's below 100-ish, tell him to waddle over to some ammo first. (Careful, he might have a heart-attack from the long walk.) It can be either a spinning, floating ammo pack or cheese-head's dispenser. Once he gets ammo and starts to shoot, charge 'em! (If you need to, you can also carry Ammo canteens as well. When Cheeks' ammo gets down to about 20 AND YOU HAVE THE SHARE CANTEEN UPGRADE PURCHASED, press your canteen button to max out his ammo.)

This one's important, but you all prolly know it already. At the start of each wave, after you walk away from the bar, follow the Demo-dummy to the robots entrance point. He'll tell you to charge him. Do it. He's gonna place initial bombs that are all crit charged. When the first group of bots show up; whoa-ha-hooooo nelly! They're in for a surprise! What, your charge? Don't be such scaredy-cat! You charge like 500% faster between waves.

Sometimes, you fight this real pest called the Giant, Quick-Fix Medic bot. These guy's are a real pain. I'm talkin' ANNOYING like that dumb, angry sun on Mario 3. This is a cool time to charge your Demo-dummy. He can put about 8 crit stickies on ONE SPOT! We're talkin' almost 300 damage per bomb, dere! When he blows that, the annoying Medic bot could be killed IN ONE EXPLOSION! Then you can Melee Charge off of his heal target, then Ubercharge your fatty to finish it off too! It's great to have a Starman!

Another pest that might need your charge is those Giant Scout bots. With fatty's gun charged, these things fall like Thwomps afraid of heights.

Keep rememberin' that critical damage does NOT fall off over distance, so you can do all dat crit damage from ACROSS THE MAP while THEIR damage falls off. You can do your full damage while the bots do their least. It ain't fair, but I don't care.

Serious Starman: Uber Canteens

You'll learn to love dese things! They can get you outta trouble, they can melee charge you, and best of all, they can save your Medic-hater! Let's say you got a Pyro with that freakin' op-as-Cape-Mario Plog thing. See a giant about to steamroll ya'? Heal the Pyro then hit your canteen button. He'll use his Phlog charge for some freaky damage! If the Uber is about to wear off, keep pressing the button rapidly to not miss your chance to Uber him again! Same goes for Cheeks.

Before you ask, no you can't troll your team by teleporting them to spawn with the Teleport canteen. Too bad, eh? Hehehe......

You can also do what's called Body Block. If ya' fightin' a giant or a boss and he's takin' ya' team to the cleaners, you can stand right in front of him to stop him from movin'. If you work together with Cheeks, he can use his Rage just before the giant jumps. If he uses his Knockback Rage on a giant while it's jumpin' or fallin', IT WILL SEND HIM FLYIN' LIKE MARIO WITH A FULL "Power" METER! Yeah, you remember dat little sprint meter on Mario 3 that looks like this?
>>>>>> (P)
Not sure if it's a bug or not, but if a giant's feet have left the ground for whatever reason, Cheeks' Rage has about 5x the pushing force. I've seen a game nearly lost, but we used dis, and that giant flew back to spawn! HOME FREAKIN' RUN! IT'S OUTTA HERE!

Serious Starman: Tank Tips

(Out dated, but keeping anyway. Read next paragraph.) When the tank rears its ugly treds, things get intense. I'll make this brief. When the tank first shows up, it might be THE first thing to show up; so charge your fatty as soon as he can see it. (If fatty is TOO far away, most of his bullets will spread AROUND the tank. Dang, you people are impossible!) If the tank is more than half way out, try to crit your Pyro or Cheeks McGlutton again. If it's about half way, start to smack it with your melee weapon, but if the tank is gettin' TOO close, run to the upgrade bar and buy 3 crit canteens den charge Pyro or Cheeks FAST! Just keep mashin' dat canteen button so you don't miss a second of crit charge! (Remember: That only works if you got canteen share upgraded. If you forgot that, I'm done with you.)

Update: Since we got our big buffs 'n stuffs, we don't see much of the masked psycho no more, and ol' Cheeks don't hit da tank with all of his damage, neither. Might be a better idea to buff that patriotic, bucket head or Demoman. Stuck with Cheeks? He'll do; still hits pretty dang hard!

Random/Community Tips

What? Upsilon actually CARES what you people have to say? He's either dilusional or way too nice. Maybe both. I don't care, I won't read this.

You found the Starman!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c1Rbnha2Pg

Yeah, well I'm signin' off. Turnin' it over to Upsilon. By the way, you all ain't too bad. I think I'm even startin' to like ya'. Well, I'm bouncin' away, back to my ? block for some shut-eye. See ya' around, not-so-bad people!

......

Thank you for reading my....Starman's* guide! If you enjoyed it, join my fan club! Not that I'm looking for worship, but more like "subscribing to my channel". http://steamcommunity.com/groups/upsilonfanclub

Two Cities Patch Changes (11/23/2013)

Know how I just told ya' to upgrade? Well, forget it. All of it. Yeah, you heard me! "But starman! Why? It was huge wall o' text and I gots it all memorized nao ;_;" Well QQ 4 u. Here's what's cookin'.

See, all dem little nerdy, computer-dweebs at Valve gave Medic a massive overhaul; an update filled with huge buffs! Oh man, I thought I was straight from Star Road before, now I'm GODLIKE! I'M FREAKIN' CHUCK NORRIS! EVERYBODY wants to be a starman now! But that's ok, all of us here were starmen before it was cool. I love all you nerds at Valve! It's gonna take me a few days to get this all updated. C'mon, I don't type dat fast! I don't have fingers! Anyway, be patient; I'm workin' on it.

Ok, so here's the beef: Valve's dweebs reworked me to act more like a support role then an akward, damage-giving, sometimes-healing......thing. In dis section, I'll include all the new stuff added in da patch. I'll even include dates so you know when I changed it! Know why? 'Cuz I like yoos guys.


This is what the new shield looks like. First, you gotta purchase it as an upgrade before you can use it. Lame! But it's so worth it! Dat shield is immune to all projectile damage. Just don't get too close. It might damage robots to the touch, but if they walk THROUGH it, it ain't blockin' nothin', is it? It'd be smart to stand right next to the guy you're shieldin'. Hug him if ya' have to; I won't say nothin'. "Not too close, not too far" is the key phrase with this robot-steamroller! Keep ya' Gandalf jokes to ya'self. I don't like yoos guys enough to put up with dose anymore. The shield itself lasts about 10 seconds, and seems like it recharges pretty dang quick. While ubercharged, it seems to charge even FASTER, so use the shield, ubercharge, use the shield again. ( I think da Vavle dweebs messed dis one up a little. They gotta be nerfin' this soon, so be on ya' toes and read dem Update News tings!)


OH, YEA! Dis here be the reason why we are so crazy-good right now! When one of ya's dies, you get a red bubble on ya' HUD that looks like someone callin' for MEDIC! but it has a picture of dat beepy thing sayin' someone went flatline. (Yeah, yeah, so I don't know what it's called, but I know what flatline is! I ain't dat dumb!). Over the ragdoll, you'll see a hologram of whoever died. YOU CAN RESSURECT DEM BY HEALIN' DAT HOLOGRAM! It takes a few seconds, so it's risky, but most of the time: so worth it! The rate dat you res'em depends on who it is. If it's dat fast runnin' scarecrow kid, you'll res him FAST. If it's ole Cheecks McGluton....let's just say dere's a lot to heal dere. If you are ubercharging, YOU'LL RES ANYBODY INSTANTLY! What makes it so good is you save them money and time! A lot of both, really.

The upgrade build changed a lot. The new Share Canteens makes each canteen cheaper, and last 1 second longer! You can get a Uber canteen for just $45! Dats nuts! (Remembuh: you gotta click ACCEPT when you upgrade the canteen thing, or dey stay the same price!) Heaing Mastery is a few old upgrades combined: You heal yourself faster, ya' teammates faster, and you ressurect them faster. We also got Mad Milk on syringes, but dey ain't impressive.

I'd say take 1 of Projectile Shield, Share Canteen, and Healing Mastery. From dere, max Shield (it's only 2 points anyway), den steadily max Healing Mastery, buy Uber Cateens (1 should do for one wave, 3 only if it's a real toughie!), and at least 1 point in Blast Resistence, and max Crit Resistence when you need it. Toss a Ubercharge Duration +2s in when you can, 'cuz 14s of crits is a long, long time to be gettin' hurt dat bad! Da only 2 upgrades I tend to ignore on the Kritzkrieg is Overheal Expert and Ubercharge Rate. We play more of a support role now, remembuh; less crits, and more healing/ressing. If you think your resistences are good and you've got cash to burn, you can go for Ubercharge Rate, Overheal Expert and Melee Speed.

Want an example on how insanely good I can be now? I had half a shield charged, and crits ready with 3 uber canteens. I charged fatty, he melts face. During da uber, I charge my shield instantly and use it. Now, he's invincible, and doin' triple damage for 14 seconds! But dat wasn't enough for me. After that storm of hell, I uber canteen while healin' him to make us both invincible, den did da good ole MELEE CHARGE on a giant. Kritz was ready, again! After my energy shield wore off, I crit charge fatty AGAIN, and got ANOTHER shield! Rinse and repeat, 'CUZ I AM DA STARMAN!

Guess I owe you Valve dweebs a big thanks, don't I? Well, alright: Thanks a bunch, you goofy nerds!

Works Cited

All images of TF2 characters and weapons were used from The Teamfortress 2 wiki page.[tf2wiki.net]

Images from the Mario series are all owned by Nintendo.

Goomba King [mario.neoseeker.com] image is from neoseeker.com


0KushalaDaora0's channel is the source of the Mario Starman Theme.

Starman Image[www.creativeuncut.com] that was used in both pictures containing it. I edited the one for the avatar.

LimesofTimes channel is the source of the Life Lost music.

Both Mario songs also belong to Nintendo.

All accessed June 10, 2013

Special Thanks

Starman: For writing this guide for me!
Froggerlogger: For your friendship and inspiration to write!
You: For reading!

[KebabScout]

1: Keep solly and demo alive too, they(especially demo) do shit ton of damage. Scout gets health from money, but engi has sentry and dispenser. If you keep healing the 3 tough guys and the Texas-dude dies, your tough guys run out of ammo, as dispenser is destroyed. Also, sentry is a massivly helping extra damage maker.

2: Über canteens. Yeah, they are sometimes useful, but on the other hand, upgrading costs money and charges cost money. I'd rather use them for overheal-expert and/or healing master, as those can cover the canteen, when retreating from a horde.

[Radiator Grilled Cheese]

Good job on this guide it probobly took forever but its so good so props to you :3

[Fox with two guns]

Well I think the readabilliy and simplicity helped quite a bit. Also tumblr gifs should be included at least 6 different times in a guide.

[Upsilon]

Thank you and good job on yours as well! Loved the gifs. I definately think your guide was written after the Medic got his buffs because I got 4k views for "how to play medic" and you got 10k+ for "use this one gun" lol.

[Fox with two guns]

woot, someone referenced my guide. This guide is pretty fly too.

[Highmastet]

Thanks So much for the mention, Glad i could help sir :333

[Upsilon]

Ok done. Tell me what you think.

[Highmastet]

yay! :DDD

[Upsilon]

Indeed it is! I've only more recently been able to fool around with it because I can avoid getting kicked from pubs with premades. I liked Vac a lot! I'll update that section, now.

[Highmastet]

Mr.Upsilon Force sir, I think this guide would make Vaccinator look way more viable than anyone thinks - http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=219903900