OK, buckle up, this is gonna take a while. In this text box I shall prove that Canada is 1. Full of criminals and is one big hiding place 2. controlled by moose and maple syrup is an elaborate ruse by the forest creatures to control us , ready, sure, *INHALES DEEPLY* PART 1: CANADA IS ONE BIG HIDING PLACE. Canada has historically been used as a hiding place for criminals (see Richard Lee Mcnair rant) and hence forth has been significantly populated by criminals. These criminals have an average age of 36 but previous escapees have also arrived leading to a bizarre phenomenon I like to call "Ghost cites" where the criminals out way the citizens leading to everyone hiding from each other fearing being recognized. Combined with the ample tree cover this leads the country to be one big maze, I think we should label the "Idea" but not the physical place of Canada as a criminal. PART 2: THE MOOSE CONTROL ALL. As everyone knows the Canadian national animal is the moose, WRONG, ITS THE BEAVER. Your probably thinking, "Why are moose the most often referred to animal for Canada?" It's because they want vengeance. Moose are neither on the flag or are the country's animal so they crave revenge, they turned Canada's own symbolism against itself using maple syrup to slowly poison the general population of America. Seeing the average American drinks (eats?) 38 POUNDS OF MAPLE SYRUP PER YEAR (LOOK IT UP). Combine this with the fact moose are extremely powerful and have horns for maximum kill efficiency this makes they a formidable foe......


Ṕ̶̡̰͕Ą̸̅̀̕R̷͍̗͕̃̈͑T̸͈̙͇̝̔ ̸̤͎̉̌͆̕͠3̸̢́͘̚͝?̶̨͙͇̰̙͘:̸̡͙̗͆ ̴͇͕̉̔͝ͅP̸̻̮͂͌͝Ę̶͙̤̀͗͂ͅR̶̭̹͙̃̽Ư̵̲̬̭ ̸̬̰́̆C̷͙͚͗̊Ȏ̵̏ͅN̷̻̮̞̹̘̽T̴̫̽Ṛ̸̝̅̏̾͘Ó̴̜̳͉̩͎̌̃̆̿L̷̛̥̈́͐S̷̡̧͉̩̮̈́̈́̀ ̵̜͉͙̱̭̍A̶̱͕͑̊̈́L̶̢̧͓̗̬͌̔L̸͕͜͝.̶̹̹̟̝̱̊̌̈̚ T̶͇̈́Ḧ̷̤́Ę̶͋Y̷̗̔ ̶̞̍L̴̡͝I̸͇̿E̶̪̿D̵̜̀ ̵̼̽T̵̠̓O̸̟͘ ̶̩͝Ư̴ͅS̶͕̅,̴̬͐ ̷̃ͅI̸͇̔Ṭ̴͗ ̵̭͑W̸̖̑Ȁ̵͚S̶̳͆Ń̵̮T̵̮̃ ̴̘͠T̷͉̽O̷̻͐ ̴͔͆D̷͖́Ė̴̠F̶̝͆É̵̬A̶͎͘T̶̫͒ ̶̘̃C̵̘̃A̸̖̅N̸͈̑Ä̶̭D̸̥̅A̶͇̕ ̷͐ͅĨ̶̱Ṫ̵̹ ̴͉̊W̵̢̚A̵̅ͅS̷͚͝ ̴̗̈́T̴̼͂Ó̵͓ ̸̢͊S̸̯̎T̷͉̅E̷̘͂Ṅ̷̹Ǵ̵ͅT̸͖̎Ȟ̶̦É̸̘Ņ̶̔ ̵͈͒Ṯ̴̿H̸̢̚Ê̴̦M̴̨͗,̸̲̊ ̸͎͛T̸͎̅H̵̻̃Ǎ̴̳T̸̹͂ ̶̛͇A̸̺̔C̸̠̆C̶̛̪É̸̹N̷̜̾T̸̠̊ ̵͈̐I̷͂͜S̷͘ͅN̸̅͜T̷̠́ ̷̮͊C̵̜̎Â̴̮N̵͓̎A̴̼̿D̷̉͜Ȉ̷̡Á̶͜N̶̻̽ ̵̬̓I̴̛͓T̴͚̈́ ̷̜͒W̶̲̒Ä̴͉́S̷̬̃ ̶̯̍F̶̜̂R̷̥͆Ò̸͎M̷̺̀ ̴̯͝P̸̠̒E̴̹̅Ŕ̴̰Ȕ̸̲.̶͔͂ ̸͚̎j̵̣̈́g̶̯̑h̶̯͛f̸̬̂á̶͇f̴́ͅt̸̫̑v̴̖̊u̴͔͠g̶̤͛h̷͌͜b̶̘̋ǹ̶͍j̸̠̉ṙ̶͚g̸̜̏ě̴͉ṟ̵̑f̴̨͐w̸̢͌d̷̻̀s̷̞͋ą̵̾v̴͎̈́g̶̛̼t̵͇̒u̸̗͆b̶̝̒ḧ̶͕n̷̻̉ȋ̸̻j̸̘́m̷̢̈́k̸͍̄ŗ̷̒f̵͑͜g̸̭̀ď̶͉.̴̻̈́ ̷͎͂R̴̭̒E̶̮̅M̸͙͝Ô̴͜V̸͙̇É̶̯ ̷̜̌T̴̖̈Ḣ̷̝Ḙ̶̈ ̴̟̚L̴̲̂E̶͓̎A̶͓͂F̶̟̚
̷̙̉K̶͖͑Ḭ̴͆L̶̝̓L̸̮̕ ̵͈̇T̷̠̾H̴̪̃E̵̟̅ ̴̜̎M̴͔͑Ö̴͕́O̵͖̓S̵̰͝Ẻ̸͈
̸̯͊B̸̪̚U̷̡͌R̵̡̐N̷̦͐ ̶̨͋T̶͇͒H̸̝͗Ĕ̸̬ ̷̦̂T̵̡́R̶̫͐E̵̝͠E̷͖̕Ś̷̢
̶͙̉W̵̢̌E̵̙̔
̶͇̍W̸̬͂I̵̫͛Ĺ̷̠L̴̥̓
̵̙̿Ẃ̷ͅȈ̸͓Ṅ̴͕

Stay tuned for part two where I prove aqua man is causing global warming to raise sea levels.