I am not crazy!

I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never!

I just – I just couldn't prove it.

He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him.

You think this is something? You think this is bad?

This? This chicanery?

He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy!

He defecated through a sunroof!

And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm!

What was I thinking?

He'll never change. He'll never change!

Ever since he was 9, always the same!

Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer!

But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!

Stealing them blind!

And he gets to be a lawyer!?

What a sick joke!

I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it"

Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham.

It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue.

It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk.

God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence.

The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom.

This prism of pork is more than deli meat.

It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order.

It is hubris manifest.

We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.