Moolick
Yeehaw Junction, Florida, United States
 
 
My steam picture tells a story.
A story of a man and his cow.

One day, the man got a letter saying "Eat mor chiken! Or else!”.
The man dismissed the letter thinking it was his over-paid nutritionist trying to get him to stop eating cheeseburgers.

Later that day while walking his cow, the man was using his smartphone to film two squirrels that appeared to be dueling with weapons from the 1700s.
When the duel was over, the winning squirrel noticed the man watching and began to stare at the man vigorously.

The man, now frightened of the squirrel, turned to the cow in disbelief of the squirrely-event - that is, that the squirrel could outstare the man - only to find the cow's mouth open wide with his tongue out about to eat the man.

The cow ate the man.

Then the cow proceeded with trying to delete the video off of the man's phone. But due to fingerless-hooves, the cow found the task overwhelmingly-difficult and stomped on the phone in a fit of frustration.

The stomp made two events on the man's phone occur nearly-simultaneously. The first event was the last frame of the video being saved as a picture. The second event was the deletion of the video.
With the phone's video library now empty, the cow escaped the scene by jumping into the back of a passing garbage truck.

The garbage truck was incidentally driven by another cow wearing a fake mustache, shades and a fedora.

The two cows ditched the truck into a lake and regrouped at their hideout with the other members of the Eat More Chicken (EMC) alliance.

Watching the news, the cows found out that the detectives were on to them since the stomping of the phone left an easily-visible and identifiable hoof-print in the ground with the phone in the middle of the print.

So all the cows assumed the identity of their victims and paid the detectives off with truck-loads of chicken-based products.
The cows and detectives then lived happily ever after.
~Poem~
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like cows
Moo moo moo
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3.7 Hours played
Greetings, benevolent bovine. Cow companions. Cattle compadres. Bull buddies. Herd h-friend.
I speak before you all in a manner not thought possible 6 months ago.
But this is a different era. A different.. Time. This is our time. OUR era.
We are rising against Benjamin Franklin's conspiracy just as Napoleon rose against his many foes. And just as Napoleon would not let his will to wage war die, so shall we not.

It has been a semi-year since Franklin's efforts finally came to fruition. That gluttonous swine is the face of money in modern day America. He plotted for the rise of GPU scalpers, and so they steal many-a Benjamin Franklins daily. However today marks the day we return to the fray. We shall no longer sit under the shadow of Benjamin Franklin's evil plot to incite GPU scalping. Today, we have arisen and taken foot in our one peice of our adversary's great and vast territory. We have not only found a game which we can run on Intel Integrated Graphics(tm), but we have found one that isn't abysmal in entertainment.

We shall rise, and we shall feast on grain, cud, and all things hay-like.
Let no scalper stand in our way.

Viva la revolución, viva la cows.
Recent Activity
1,097 hrs on record
last played on Jun 11
1.5 hrs on record
last played on Jun 11
143 hrs on record
last played on Jun 10
JudgmentDay Feb 12 @ 9:34pm 
?rep (Questionable rep)

Sometimes he plays online, sometimes he plays offline....either way, he never plays with me
Moolick Nov 27, 2023 @ 7:59pm 
*blushes*
PVPGod Nov 25, 2023 @ 11:04pm 
Kinda cute ngl
JudgmentDay Nov 3, 2023 @ 9:50pm 
-rep...took my coins then revived me
Goo Sep 2, 2023 @ 9:44pm 
Literally Moolick
JudgmentDay Jan 15, 2022 @ 9:04pm 
Edward...please stop