Ten years ago at the age of 16 I packed my first lip, Skoal Wintergreen in my best friend's hot tub. The euphoria of that nice, toasty buzz washed over me in a magnificent wave and I was hooked. My friends and I decided to become connoisseurs of chaw and boy, we were world class. I made my way through all the Skoal flavors: mint, straight, berry, cherry, citrus, peach, spearmint, apple, vanilla (that's right young boys, that used to be a thing), and even pre-ordered the Skoal Classic online with a fake ID when it was released.

When we all got our licenses, we'd drive around for hours at a time having "pack sesh's" as we called them; four or five of us piled in a 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee with a ziplock bag filled with assorted cans, just driving around and packing yams. We had various spots we preferred for our sessions: by a lake, outside a strip club, on the beach.

We learned many things during this time:

We learned that dip is 5x better if it's cold, and we started keeping cans in the freezer.

We learned that sharing a spitter is a sign of true friendship, and when it was a necessity we did it shamelessly.

We learned that pouches are manufactured solely for women who indulge in this hobby, not men.

We learned that adding a splash of Jack or Captain to a can of straight, mint, or wintergreen will give you an even better buzz.

We learned that even though we didn't catch as much of a buzz as when we first started dipping, if we threw in when we were ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ we could experience a feeling like no other.

We learned to buy by the log, not the can; always better to have too much than too little.

We learned check the expiration date on our cans when we were buying them and to tell the gas station cashier to ♥♥♥♥ right off if he gave us a can with a bad date.

We learned to never deny a fellow dipper a lip, even if it meant downsizing our own.

We learned that any member of the fairer sex who had a problem with us packing chaws was no one we should waste our time with.

We learned that even though the concept of filling a giant jug with spit over time may seem amusing and enticing, it isn't. That ♥♥♥♥'s disgusting. Always use a fresh spitter.

We learned that Gatorade or Powerade bottles make the best spitters, and that cans make the worst. Open-mouthed cups are also excellent, but limited in their functionality due to their inability to be properly capped.

We learned that packing chaws after eating or drinking certain things can make for a better or worse pack sesh --- a chaw after a morning glass of OJ is sensational; a chaw after eating chicken or turkey, not so much.

We learned that mixing different flavors can be orgasmic at its best or ball-shriveling at its worst. Spearmint and vanilla went great together, like PB&J. Berry and cherry was great, as was apple and peach. I wouldn't make my worst enemy mix citrus with mint.

We learned how to pack on the upper deck to mix things up, a flea-flicker for the gums.

We learned that seeing how big of a lip you can pack is of course a must-do for any real dipper, but that it's ultimately unenjoyable and a waste of money. Yes, I can pack an entire can.

We learned that while at parties, we could crush the mouth of a beer can into itself, transforming an unusable can into a wide-mouth spitter.

I was a can-a-day dipper by the end of my senior year of high school, a can usually giving me four lips. Then it was off to college, a time for experimentation. Enter Kayak Grape. A cost-effective substitute for my beloved Skoal Citrus, I went through can after can after can until I got sick of it. Then it was on to Grizzly, a brand that I firmly believe is a terrible product but nonetheless a reliable alternative to Skoal for a college kid with literally no money. I found that Grizzly lips don't stay juicing as long as Skoal, that Grizzly as a brand is much drier.

During my college tenure, I also experimented with:

Red Seal

Longhorn (ouch, but for $2 a can? what choice was I left with)

Rooster, the brand with supposedly like 10x more fiberglass in it or some ♥♥♥♥, I don't know. It's awful.

Cope, a brand that I feel is generally overrated and overpriced. I did enjoy some flavors almost as much as Skoal, though.

Kodiak (again, ouch, but very cost effective)

Stokers, the giant jug.

Beechwood and Red Man

Packing hammers got me through so many sleepless nights of studying that I don't think I could have graduated without it. But by the time I graduated, I had found my way back to my true love, Skoal Citrus.

For the last few years, I've dipped Skoal citrus, mint, straight, and cherry exclusively, probably 75% citrus, 10% mint, 10% straight, 5% cherry.

And now, it's time to give it up. This has been a long time coming for me and I've been toying with the idea for years. There are several reasons behind my resignation, the main being that I have severe acid reflux and packing yams irritates it to no end. I wish nothing but the best to my chaw-packing brothers; may you enjoy every lip you pack --- just remember this for me: if you're not going to be able to enjoy your dinger for at least 45 minutes, don't throw it in! That's a waste of God's dirt.

To commemorate my retirement I'll leave you with the memories of some of my fondest and most epic lips:

Coercing my least favorite ex to make out with me while I had a chaw in (unbeknownst to her)

Getting blown by my RA my freshman year with a lip in

Packing a lip in court, gutting it obviously

Getting pulled over by a cop while I had a chew in, only to realize when he approached my window that he also had one in, and the same flavor at that. He obviously let me go

Doing a 15 minute power point presentation my sophomore year of college, hungover as ♥♥♥♥ just gutting it the entire time

Talking my current girlfriend into packing a hammer with me at a house party my senior year, the first time we met (no, she doesn't dip regularly and has not done it since nor had she done it before, that would be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ disgusting)

Packing a lip with a well-known UFC fighter who I won't name

Packing a lip with a well-known NFL player who I won't name

Spitting off of the top of the Empire State Building

Countless, countless more