Peter: 💚 Oh, 📀 I 💙 hate 📕 it 🚕 when 🌳 your 🐳 mother 🏓 worries. 🐠 She 🕺 usually 🎄 says 🐝 things 💃 like 🥗 "I ⚡ told 👔 you 🚗 so" 🎫 and 🥞 "Stop 👽 doing 🌽 that, 🌋 I'm 🍧 asleep."

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+rep sexy af

If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.
If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim
If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.
If you find this offensive and don't forward it, You may be a Muslim.