╔═══════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════════╗
If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
╚═══════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════════╝

+rep got Negeved the right way

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO COME inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~

First time having sex was like riding a bike, my dad was holding me from behind

DO NOT and I mean, DO NOT use champagne bottles as dildos!!! When I used the bottle to ♥♥♥♥ myself in my well shaved bussy, the cork plopped out and got stuck in my stomach. At the same time all the champagne filled my bussy and IT BURNED SO BAD!!! Well now my hole smells and tastes like champagne and my boyfriend likes that so ig thats a W?

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.