Recent reviews by ♡IronicShark♡

Let me ask you a question, do you like meatballs? Why you ask? No reason :3 Half-Life 2 is like a meatball, fun to eat out and really really juicy. If you love eating out meatballs this is the game for you! You play as a man named Gorgeous- I mean Gordon Freeman who is being hunted down by a very sexy alien race called the Combine who made Earth their slave. Your mission? Save the world of course working with the resistance.

How do you kill these aliens you ask? You ask too many questions, but ill allow it. That's what a very nice selection of weapons is for, there is everything from a very handsome crowbar to a rocket launcher which will scratch all those kinky itches of you. If shooting and beating is not your cup of warm piss then look no further, I introduce The Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator also known as The Gravity Gun. With this really sexy gun you are able to lift up all kinds of objects ranging from soda cans all the way up to tables and shoot them across the room.

What's that, a Combine soldier is coming your way? No worries! Just pick up the nearest chair and launch it at him, if that does not kill him then more fun, just grab the next best object and destroy the place. What's that, 5 are coming down the hall? Oh silly you know what to do, Granny won't be needing that closet anymore, it was just full of musty clothes anyway. Grab that thing and launch it right into their faces. Any survivors? Great! Granny's favourite coffee table will do nicely, why not rip the radiator out of the wall while you're at it :D.

Sound too easy for you? If so then you will be happy to know that later you will come across very naughty bigger enemies, everything from gunships that go pew pew to a 3 legged thing at least 4 stories tall that will find you. All of them were once beautiful creatures also enslaved by the combine to destroy you. But wait, you want more? Ok you greedy ♥♥♥♥♥, let me introduce you to the cute little head crabs (no not that kind of head you naughty naughty). It looks like a hairless dog without a head and tail and is very adorable. But don't be fooled by its cuteness, if given the chance he will jump onto someone's head and take over their bodies.

You remember granny you loved, she is still there but is now a screaming thing walking around with her chest ripped open clawing at you. If granny's suddenly very decomposed storming and jumping at you with high speeds she met the cute fast head crabs, and if she is groaning with all her little black pet head crabs on her back she met the cute poison head crabs. If Granny was last at the beach then she met the really nice ant lions who murdered her and dragged her down into their nest so their babies can feast on her rotting corpse.

Wow, this is a really long cummy review, I rate this a 9/10, best game :3

Usually I would make these with more hours on the game but this game made me so wet I just had to. You start off flying over a forest thinking you are so cool when suddenly you go oh no and get shown that you are not a dominant ♥♥♥♥ log as you crash, now find yourself in the forest with danger lurking around evrey corner. If I had to describe this game in a few words it would be babysitting. While you try to survive a build your base you have to look after this brain gone bad guy named Kelvin, as much as I don't like him he does have his uses. Wait, what's this? you don't like leaving the safety of your shack to go looking for sticks? No worries, send Kelvin, he will do all your little tasks without a second thought so you can focus on upgrading your little shack :D. Oh no, you don't know how to build this so called shack, no worries all of this can be accessed in your wonderful ♥♥♥♥♥♥ notebook, there is so much to pick from with more on its way. If you're a huge fan of the 1st game then there is a different menu just for you to build already existing structures, but let's say your clit is itching for a bit of freedom then there's the menu that basically just tells you what to do. Cut a log here and put a log there and you will have a huge mansion in no time. While you admire your newly built palace you turn around to see 10 muddy bush people storm your way, some of you may go aww cute as they throw you with little rocks but make no mistake, these creatures will murder you and your stick fetching butler the moment you turn your back. About 10 minutes later of not taking these goblins seriously you will find yourself terrified hiding in your barricaded mansion with 100's storming around outside, just remember these words, I told you this would happen. Now now there is still hope, how you ask? Well by starting a server with your friends you can now have up to 7 new butlers to defend your new beach house as you become a lazy ♥♥♥♥ that only sits around sipping on sodas until eventually, bigger and worse stuff starts appearing, now you are once again barricaded inside with all your butlers as they slowly break their way inside knowing that this time there is no escape. Best game 10/10

This is a long review, if you don't like reading then still read this, just because :D. Now this is a real gem if you are some sad lonely ♥♥♥♥ who loves punching holes in KFC bathroom walls because your family just left you for some rich ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ then this is the perfect game for you, or you're just some sad boring person. Here you don't have to worry about lawsuits and the one or two restraining orders you can get, you can run around breaking whatever you want with no consequences. There are amazing missions where you are forced to destroy the ♥♥♥♥ out of the place to create little paths to get everything as fast as you can, and trust me you have to because if you run out of time they will find you. But Cheese my fingies hurt, what if I don't want to use my hands to destroy anything? Fear not! I present to you the amazing selection of tools no other game has (probably, idk) that will scratch all the itches you have, yes even that one *wink wink*. But Cheese I want to know more about these wonderful tools. SHUT THE ♥♥♥♥ UP IM GETTING THERE! Now you have a great selection, a big strong sexy sledgehammer that is so fun to use it will make you hard, yes even you Linda. A gun for shooting at all the jealous midgets who wants the game more than you do, and the best part bombs for whatever your sick little heart desires and many more! But what if you want more? Then you a greedy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, but there is still hope. Look no further than the amazing workshop where you can get so many guns that you won't have time to test them all! Anything from Halo weapons to custom stuff talented people made, and we all know you will never be one of them. Oh what's this, you want to know where you can test all these amazing creations. Again look no further, there is a selection of in-game maps that will again scrats all your kinky itches, everything from a mall where you can practise all your shoplifting fantasies to a mansion where you can pretend to live the amazing life you know you will never have. And if those maps aren't your cup of piss then there is once again the amazing workshop for you to drool over. There are amazing maps where like Hotels, Even more Malls and if you are really into it the FNAF Pizzeria. And how could I almost forget, the spawn menu where you can again get stuff from the workshop and spawn them in any map you want, you can then build whatever you want like little pyramids out of tables, then you spawn in a monster truck to ram them all down. I had a cummy time typing this, best game 10/10

Where do i start with this one, this game is the tits. You run around with this sexy gun and a spawn menu, you then spawn ugly ♥♥♥♥ and place them somewhere, then you spawn more ugly ♥♥♥♥ and before you know it you have built a giant ♥♥♥♥ out of old toilets and traffic cones, maybe even a few pigeon corpses. BUT here the twist, being the ♥♥♥♥ is a croissant, where did you get this croissant you might ask. That would be from the amazing workshop where you can get even more ♥♥♥♥ like Shrek, Sushi and Chips. You can even get Justin Bieber if you really wanted to, there is literally barely any limits for you to make your sick fantasies a reality, yes im looking at you who wants to make Obama kiss Santa you sick nipple. If playing alone is not your cup of piss then your welcome to explore Multiplayer where you can find other basement dwellers just as sick as you ready to create whatever their little hearts desire. There is anything from Harry Potter Rp to servers where you mine fake Bitcoin and spent a ♥♥♥♥ ton of money to look cool just for you to be robbed and loose all your ♥♥♥♥, but i know some of you get hard just from thinking of that. Now that that ♥♥♥♥ storm is done i would say 10/10 best game.