Jarhead
Jackson Agathor   Iceland
Level
19
Power Player
498 XP
 
 
The Happy Little Elf

There once lived a happy little elf named Ryan. He was the happiest elf of them all, and he loved to eat sweets, like cookies, and cake, and treats, like feet. Ryan lived happily with his twelve sisters, ten brothers, two fathers, no mothers, six dogs, five cats, twenty lizards, nine raccoons, and one big, fat elephant. It was a wonderful life for him and his family.
His fathers, however, were unemployed. So, being the oldest brother, Ryan had to help his family and work ten jobs, it was difficult and stressful for him. He woke up at 2 in the morning to go to his first job, which was a garbage man, there he worked constantly, then he went to his job as a sticker placer, then he was prostitute, then he had to work as a cook for a brothel, then he was a factory worker, then a DMV person, then an accountant, then he was a teacher, a janitor, and at the end of it all, he had to torture himself by taking care of kids. All of this responsibility was making Ryan slowly go insane. He was losing his own mind, and he thought terrible things at night. He could not sleep. Pictures of horrendous murder scenes flashed through his head and kept him up at night. But he smiled.
Ryan wanted to kill everyone. He wanted to kill his bosses. He wanted to kill his family. He wanted to kill his pets. And worst of all, he wanted to kill those friggin’ spoiled kids. At night, if he ever were to fall asleep, he would dream of wonderful things, such as the holocaust, and 9/11. Ryan started to write down his own thoughts, which would later be published and entitled Mein Kampf. And finally, after all of this mental torture, Ryan broke.
Ryan had been planning this for years, and it was finally the day. He went downstairs into the kitchen with his hands behind his back, and he greeted his family. His father said, “Hi Ryan, how-“ There was a loud bang. And a silence. The blood covered the walls, there were chunks of brain covering the faces of all of the young brothers and sisters. Ryan was smiling. His grin reached his ears and his eyes were black holes. The children were silent, they were dumbfounded and they were confused as to why Ryan would ever do this. He was such a nice guy. But they had never been inside of Ryan’s head. They were clueless. Ryan then forced his own brothers and sisters to eat each-other as they watched him rape and kill his pets. One. By. One. Everyone was eventually dead.
Then he went to each one of his bosses. Starting with the brothel, he sliced their supple necks. Blood ran down, mixing with tears, and Ryan was the happiest man alive. At last, Ryan went to the daycare, where he forced the children to rape each-other, and he killed them in a way that’s impossible to explain in text.
The crime scene was a bloody abortion mess. There were chunks of brain on the walls; there were puddles of blood, semen, and tears everywhere. Every one of the children were disemboweled, and their limbs had been forcefully torn apart. The police had not noticed it, but the limbs of the children made a picture on the floor: a pentagram.
Ryan, the happy little elf, had accomplished everything that he had been planning. It was finally time for him to pass on. So… With his father’s finger in his mouth, with the blood running down his pant legs and his neck, with a raging hard on, he placed the barrel of a shotgun on his head, and he pulled the trigger.
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Rust
24 Hours played
Day 1

I seem to have woken up on a mysterious island, I don't remember much. All I have is a rock.. I'm scared.
There seems to be no sign of other humans. I do not have any food or shelter yet, however, I was able to obtain a few logs by hitting a tree with this rock multiple times.. What a mysterious island.

Day 2

I have found a chicken, some more wood, and a few stones, I was able to conceive an amateur, handmade axe, it only took a few seconds to make, so I was able to kill the chicken too. I have also gathered a fairly large pile of wood, I might be able to build a makeshift shelter, but for now...
Tonight I feast.

Day 3

Today is the day, I will finally build a shelter, I can feel the warmth of a warm bed and fire already. I haven't felt this good since I was a child, playing with my toys, I remember one toy more than most, it was called a "Steam", ahh, the good ol' days.
I will be home soon.
I promise.

Day 4

I'm sorry.
I have killed a man.
It all happened so fast, he was holding a gun, I was debating on making peace with him, but he seemed the brutal sort.
And all of his gear, it was... Enticing.
He must have had a family, but I am becoming selfish it seems, I don't care about the man that I have killed.
All that I can think of is one thing, not my family, not his family...
But tonight I feast.

Day 5

I've come across a small, abandoned town, there seems to be a lot of loot within the area.
The only problem is that I obtain a heavy dose of radiation if I go into the barriers.
I have a choice: Obtain what's necessary to survive and die from radiation, or live on how I am now.. In poverty.
I think I'll live.
Just for a while longer.

Day 6

I saw a man today, outside of my cabin, he was naked and he had a rock.. He seemed to have been yelling incomprehensible jibberish, he must be insane.. I remember when I was like that.
I still am in a way.

Day 7

I don't know what to do.
The man that I saw yesterday came into my cabin while I was asleep, he held a rock to my head and struck..
My life flashed before my eyes, stupid reflex, I grabbed my journal.
Remember when I said that I was coming home? Sadly my dear, you'll have to meet me in heaven.
I am bleeding out. I am in god's hands now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"HEY ROBERT, I FOUND SOME D0UCHE'S DIARY!"

"HAHA, WHAT AN IDIOT! I BET HE TASTES GOOD THOUGH, TONIGHT WE FEAST!"
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Comments
kia telluride Mar 17, 2022 @ 4:16pm 
play rust again ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
GenPeace Jul 20, 2021 @ 12:59am 
Good reviews
BopSon ☭ Jul 15, 2016 @ 9:52am 
should kill himself
BopSon ☭ Feb 7, 2016 @ 10:30pm 
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Mamikosake Jun 29, 2015 @ 10:47am 
IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA ♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED U!

…_…|..____________________, ,
……/ ..—-___________——_____|] = = = D
…../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
…..), —-.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), ——”
…//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care.
Yes, i'm smurfing.. Trade Banned May 18, 2015 @ 3:47pm 
We gonna order take out and when we see the driver
We gonna stick the 25 up in his face......
White boy in the wrong place at the right time
Soon as the car door open up he mine
We roll up quick and put the pistol to his nose
By the look on his face he probably ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in his clothes
You know what this is, it's a stick up
Gimme the do' from your pickups
You ran into the wrong ♥♥♥♥♥♥