This is the guy everyone imagines is secretly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ their girlfriend while she says she’s going to wine tasting with her friend Jenny. But then it comes out that it’s not this dude and it’s some DYEL schmuck named Stewart who enticed her with the perfect Cabernet at wine tasting. Rat bastard.

Ok so earlier today she said she was off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the ♥♥♥ up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ log, ♥♥♥♥♥ u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U ♥♥♥♥♥, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop ♥♥♥♥♥. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.

listen buddy. bent over rows before bent over hoes. curls before girls. quads before broads. ham squeezes before slam pieces. legs before kegs and before eggs if you know what I mean. pecs before sex. u catch my drift? traps before tramps. calves before laffs. tri's before thighs unless you mean quads in which case, thighs and tri's on same day. clean and jerk before jerk, then clean. if u no wat i mean. cardios before the party hoes as they say in austria. make sure you snatch before da snatch. deadlift before u get sniffed. u know wat im sayin? morning after pill AFTER good mornings. good? burpees before herpes. barbells before southern belles, but dumbells are the same thing so im not sure. u get it? back to the law, glutes before sloots, core before ♥♥♥♥♥♥, lat rows before fat hoes, planks for the skanks. did i say dat already? power shrugs be4 da shower hugs. dat ones from 4chan. which reminds me. calisthenics before phallus antics. remember dat?. u know wat im sayin?

you can backwards crouch jump into the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to clip directly into the uterus, triggering the "nut" cutscene without having to go complete the foreplay objective

i think its hilarious u kids talking ♥♥♥♥ about SHAYYY. u wouldnt say this ♥♥♥♥ to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

H-hey SHAYYY, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.