You will never be a real pirate. You have no treasure map, no peg peg leg. You have no doubloons. You are a crowing man twisted by tavern tales and folk fables into a crude mockery of of seas perfection. All the respect you get is two faced and half-hearted. Behind your back landlubbers mock you. Your crewmen are ashamed and disgusted of you. Your mateys laugh at your sophisticated appearance on lower decks. Merchants are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed them to sniff out frauds better than Caribbean spices. Even privateers who "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a merchant. Your standardized royal ship yard bow structure is a dead giveaway, and even if you get a rum smuggler to deck with you he'll turn sails and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your perfumed powdered wig. You will never be feared.
You wrench out a fake grimace every morning looking in the framed mirror from France while drinking salon tea from fine China,

and tell yourself it's going to be fine. But deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like the Kraken's tentacle, ready to drag you to the Davy Jone's Locker. Eventually, it'll be too much to bear. You'll buy a plank, put it overboard, slowly goose step across it and plunge into the cold abyss. Your bo'sun and first lieutenant will find you missing from your lodge at four bells, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to serve under you, and the unbearable shame and disappointment that follows suit. They'll send a short letter to the royal admiralty with your letter of marquee attached, and every royal navy cadet for the rest of eternity will know a king's man had served on that ship. Your body will be eaten by Poseidon's creatures and go back to the sand, and all that will remain of your legacy is is a short footnote of your portrait hanging in the back hall of the admiralty. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖜 24 Jul @ 12:34pm
傻逼洋垃圾低能白皮猪:overkill_laugh:

And blood-black nothingness began to spin... A system of cells interlinked within cells interlinked within cells interlinked within one stem... And dreadfully distinct against the dark, a tall white fountain played.
Cells.
Have you ever been in an institution? Cells.
Do they keep you in a cell? Cells.
When you're not performing your duties do they keep you in a little box? Cells.
Interlinked.
What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love? Interlinked.
Did they teach you how to feel finger to finger? Interlinked.
Do you long for having your heart interlinked? Interlinked.
Do you dream about being interlinked?
What's it like to hold your child in your arms? Interlinked.
Do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing? Interlinked.
Within cells interlinked.
Why don't you say that three times: Within cells interlinked. Within cells interlinked. Within cells interlinked.

你好，终于联系到您了，我是淘宝客服，给你打电话打不通，QQ也不回，看见你在这里只好给你留言了。你寄回的充气娃娃我们已经帮您修好了，马上给您寄回去，但请你别那么残暴的对她，她毕竟只是个娃娃。，下次您温柔点，毕竟不是钢铁制成的，寄回来的时候在场的工作人员看了都哭了！其实我看着也想哭，那玩意惨不忍睹啊，你说你前面也就算了，后面你都不放过，毕竟有些人有那些特殊的嗜好，我也不说了，嘴巴都变形了，好吧我承认嘴巴也是正常的，关键是鼻孔，耳孔你是怎么进去的？我就纳闷了。还有最后一个就是尼玛的肚脐眼。草，你也是特么人才，最后还给特么差评，这事我已经报警了，你等着吧，还有心情在这玩游戏.

You get more and more aware of how slowly you walk. You can't run. It's just this. It's horrible. You're not a character in a fun RPG. You're a person, travelling at frustratingly person-like speeds, trying to outrun about 8 different ways of dying.