(Talking about my dislocated rib, and how its odd how you can break a penis since it has no bone.)
Kezra: I can pop mine like it's a knuckle.
Jes: >.> Wait your rib or your penis?
Kezra: Both.
Kakezula: I wish to know how you can do that with your penis.
Jes: *In tremendous pain, Laughing with a dislocated rib.*
_____________________________________________________________________________
<While hiding in a bush in Warframe.>

Jes McDevlin: I am a bush.

Arius: Just don't try to lead a country.

<10 second delay for brain to process>

<Dies laughing as he gets it.>
_____________________________________________________________________________
Everyone: *Talking about Dying Light. Some one mentions its just 'Advanced Darkness'.*
Arius: Ah, "Advanced Darkness". The skill required to become a negro-mancer.
((We are not racist, we just enjoy dark humor.))
_____________________________________________________________________________
Jes McDevlin: I have an idea, why don't I just flip the switch that made me insane back to normal. :p

Koeki: If only it were that easy... I'd have done it years ago. v.v;

Jes McDevlin: Pfff; it's right between the switch to make you thin and beautiful/handsome, and the one that turns off cancer. Duh X3

Koeki: And the one to make stupid people smart.

Jes McDevlin: D: Now here I am talking about real things and you go and make a silly comment like that... how dare you insult my intellect. HARUMPH!
_____________________________________________________________________________
<Random Friend>: I am very much a this. (gay)

Jes McDevlin: D: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! The sperm vampires have found me! I'll put on this hideous tye to keep you away *Puts on horribly miscolored tye. :3 Ahhh safe at last.

<Random Friend>: ♥♥♥♥! It's bad fashion! *Hisses*
_____________________________________________________________________________
Wilson: I think it's just one of those days for my internet

Jes McDevlin: Maybe we should sacrifice a goat to it?

Wilson: Don't have one :/

Jes McDevlin: WHAT SELF RESPECTING PERSON DOESN’T HAVE A FRESH GOAT ON HAND!?!? D:{
_____________________________________________________________________________

Wilson: Its my new life goal to get onto your random messages list on your profile. You know the one.

Jes: You have some very low goals.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Jes McDevlin: UGH I need to stop stressing....... and i need to stop using bubble wrap as cushion... i’m popping my arm chairs cushions (bubble wrap) to destress... IT IS COUNTER PRODUCTIVE i say.

WIlson: XD
_____________________________________________________________________________
Dark: Nets off till Friday & my phones net is so slow its like dial up lol

Jes McDevlin: Uuuugghhh Imma' be sooo bored without you around

(Some time latter)

Dark: God, i'm bored

Jes McDevlin: And God said unto him, "Let there be Phone Games" And behold, it was good.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Mediziner: I see you have Viscera Cleanup Detail. O:

Jes: Mhm, I am a seriously competitive meta gamer in it too. I own the legendary broom "Brhenjogolfsgunjere -Sweeper of the Unclean" running full max tier epic janitorial jumper, and last but not least I have all the certifications required to do max level raiding; IE: A G.E.D.! I even have an Rp guild where I play as Scruffy, The Janitor from Futurama in my down time between raids.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Arius: a parrot called me a c*nt...

Jes: Oh?

Arius: Neighbor kid knocked on my window to show me his new parrot and it called me a c*nt...

Jes: The person the parrot is mimicking is a ♥♥♥♥ by proxy!
_____________________________________________________________________________

Jes: Aroooooo~! :P

Andrew: Hi Nixon :3
_____________________________________________________________________________
(Had a dream about WoW Pre-Cata. Was missing it.)
Jes McDevlin: yea; nothing like waking up feeling like a crack addict about ready to cry like a baby "WAAAA WHERES MY CRACK PIPE!?"... WELL! Gotta run, no rest for the addicted.
_____________________________________________________________________________
[Excerpt from Discord Voice:]

Wilson: Allllll day i've been channeling my inner Buddha. I've been Zen as hell.

Arius: So, what you mean to say is, you've been masterbating all day?

Wilson: Basically. Yea’.
_____________________________________________________________________________

If a picture is worth 1,000 words,... then the entirety of the lord of the rings book collection would have to be 1,231,200,000 words long.
Assuming there are 11:06:56 in all of the movies, without credits.
And its running at 30 FPS. >.>
My book,.... i have about 10,000 words.... ._. I better get to writing...