Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out.

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Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I read this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like "what the ♥♥♥♥" and "call the police". I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this story. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this post. This is your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

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Some say he is a man, i know him as a god, be careful around this beautiful creation, you might worship him too......

HI. I am married.

I am pleased to have you as a SOCIAL MEDIA friend.
As you browse my pics & view my LIFE from a distance, you will see that I LOVE my SPOUSE & FAMILY dearly.

I am NOT seeking an extramarital relationship or secret "friend." My MARRIAGE means too much :)

PLEASE no flirting, inappropiate inboxes, DMs, or pokes - and we will remain SOCIAL MEDIA friends.