Kaptin
Death of SJW
 
 
I'm here to ♥♥♥♥ up your favourite game and laugh at you while you are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ yourself in RAGE.
Leave a comment below, so i can tell you really HATE me
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When i touch damaged nerd this happens
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Left 4 Dead 2
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13.6
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Review Showcase
Because most reviews on this games are biased or comes from Relic drones who are going to tell you that DOW3 is the best RTS out there i'm going to redphill you with the truth about Soulstorm so sit down and make sure your rose-tinted glasses are on nice and tight, and prepare for a nice walk down truth lane.

Overall review:

Hopes were high for Soulstorm. Whilst it was obviously going to have difficulties from the first two games, it was being produced by Iron Lore, which took community input extremely seriously and added a number of new features intended to make the game the most balanced it had been since Vanilla. And in many ways, they succeeded. Balance was considerably improved, though the problem with Tau tech from Dark crusade (fyo Tau still can build both technology paths) remained. A number of problems were fixed, and serious consideration was made to ensure that the two new races - the Dark Eldar and Sisters of Battle - would not fall into the trap of the old. This would be Iron Lore's last produced game, and they wanted it to be a hit.

Unfortunately, Relic and THQ had other plans. The developers were forced by THQ to put in Flying units - something the Dawn of War engine was never designed for, cutting out a lot of units that had been heavily-demanded by fans (Wraithguard, Leman Russ Demolisher, Chaos Dreadnought, Techmarines, Wyrdboyz, etc) in favor of the aforementioned flyers. Said flyers were notoriously buggy, absurdly unbalanced (The Tau Barracuda for example, were capable of leveling a base on their own) or fulfilled a completely unnecessary purpose (Marauder Bomber for Guard when everyone and their grandfather wanted Valkyries, which would have been actually useful considering that bombers were of no purpose when one factored in Basilisks). The budget was slashed repeatedly and the amount of time Iron Lore had was stripped bare, forcing the developers to create a cut-rate campaign that felt like a total rehash. And of course we should not forget the voice actors and scripting that were either so terrible or "good" that they produced 3 famous memes within the WH40K fanbase: "Spehss Mahreens" and "Emprah" as said by Indrick Baldeale and METHUL BAWKSES as said by the Champion of the BAWKS GAWD aka Chaos lord Carron, all of whom were voiced by Scott ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ McNeil (who also brought us Cornholio the Cultist, bringing the total number of memes brought about by this game to at least six). And then, just to add insult to injury, Relic released the game with an earlier beta version of the program which had numerous bugs and balance problems, including a refresh bug for the Dark Eldar Dais Dark Scythe ability, which would cause it to deal thousands of damage and vaporize entire armies.

Still, even on release, the game was very well-received - and then, it happened. 19 hours after the game's initial launch, an infinite resource exploit was uncovered for the Sisters of Battle. By queuing up an upgrade for their listening post and then cancelling it, it was possible to get double the normal resource amount - ergo allowing you to do it rapid-fire for colossal amount of resources very, very quickly along with having infinite faith resource by simply auto-casting a faith ability so in-theory, a simple Celestian squad with a missionary attached could very well turn their durability like those of an Assault Terminator Squad with a Chaplain attached. After initially dismissing this as "not a real bug" and prattling on that players "should be happy with what they've got," a "hotfix" was promised within "one, maybe two weeks."

That one to two weeks turned into a nearly 9-month wait, whilst the game suffered horrendously. The "merit" system which was designed to award players with little collections of in-game multiplayer achievements was completely non-functional not only during this time, but after it. The lobby at launch read: "This is stand-in-news. Replace this with real news," and kept this for 6 out of the 8.65 months it took for the patch to hit. During this time, Automatch was broken and the use of a trainer (The Company of Heroes CheatMod, if anyone cares) allowing players to switch races on the fly and delete enemy buildings ran rampant, destroying anything that remotely remained of the game's competitive multiplayer environment. Smaller bugs and problems kept popping up during the wait: using dance of death would set Eldar players' resources to Zero. Charming an Ethereal with a Deceiver would give the Necron Army billions of hit points per unit. Observers could activate a Dark Eldar player's Soul Powers.

After 8.65 months, there was nothing left. The game was deader than a Sister of Battle at Matt Ward's place. But again, after 8 months of waiting and leaving the game to die, a small shard of hope appeared: the hotfix finally DID arrive which addressed most of the early problems present in the game, including the ability to use trainers in a multiplayer game and most of the SoB/DE bugs, which made the game relatively playable. However, much like how Zelda to the Nintendo Gamecube, it came too late and Soulstorm basically died out as many players just gave up on the game, while small pockets of players remained. Fortunately, the Steam port of Soulstorm restored the servers, and Soulstorm's vanilla multiplayer is alive to this very day.

Relic had blamed everything from Steam to Gamespy to the black hole at the center of the galaxy for the delays, but everyone and their grandmother knew the full truth: they didn't give a ♥♥♥♥ because they were working on Dawn of War II. After the patch, the game remained broken with a lot left to fix (the Eldar remained blatantly overpowered and there were dozens of smaller problems plaguing each faction - all of which were easily fixed), but Relic was done with it and Dawn of War 2 was here. So if by some Emperor only knows reason you still want to play this game, you better just mod it out.

Gameplay
The Soulstorm single-player campaign also did away with the whole "building up" feature that was present in Dark Crusade. (E.g: placing all of your high-end structures and capturing most of the nodes on the map so you could create massive, unstoppable forces instantly when you had to defend.) However, it was double-edged. Due to the absence of this feature in Soulstorm, the AI actually stood a chance against you, which made the battles 'slightly' more interesting, but you also couldn't just upgrade a Monolith instantly and steamroll the AI's attacking force, which meant you had to deal with 6+ regions getting attacked EVERY SINGLE ROUND of the overworld play when you started conquering more territories. And the auto-resolve system didn't give you the best of odds. So, instead of being able to actually conceivably finish the campaign in a day or two, you would probably instead end up spending about 30-40 hours on just defending your same stupid territories in the end. Then you'll probably spend another 10 hours actually taking over territories and beating all the strongholds. Combine that with the open memory leak, and you might have to play for a week straight to actually win. What fun (that's sarcasm). (The way to do this is to conquer the system one planet/faction at a time- that means you don't have to worry about multiple attacks on your territories. The downside of this is that the last planet you get to is heavily defended by the time you get to it. Whilst this can make for more interesting fights, you do get annoyed having to build up from nothing whilst your enemy does not. Note also that this tactic generally works only on Easy mode- in other modes the computer will waste no time at all in going after you ASAP.)
In Dawn of War III, it is confirmed that Gorgutz was the victor of da Kaurava System, and was consequently the one who wiped Boreal and his bald ass off the face of Kaurava II. This means that the system is likely infested with Orks...
THE END.
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Stomping SJW snowflakes since 2012
If you managed to scroll down without ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and pissing your adult sized diaper you have then already passed test that you are at least worthy of your existence however if my collection of stomped ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, queers forced you into autistic rage feel free to post turd in my comments section after i read your desperate wish to end your existence expect within 15 mins the death squad which will pwn you and your brain is going to be stored inside a jar so we can study what exactly went wrong inside your damaged brain.
CrocsMan May 2 @ 10:11am 
daddy is dead :lunar2019deadpanpig::boot:
KOMPLETTERINO. Feb 26, 2023 @ 6:06am 
+rep, hope to play again with u femboy bangers 2
CrocsMan Nov 12, 2022 @ 10:04am 
can i pay with rublz or chicken nuggettz grandpa
uhhh Oct 22, 2022 @ 6:15pm 
africans
guntoting_lawbreaker Oct 17, 2022 @ 9:37am 
steam is becoming more commie by the day unfortunately.
Kaptin Oct 16, 2022 @ 12:48pm 
some lgbt commie ♥♥♥♥ have been recently infesting this comments section.