I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego

+rep, has clair obscur expedition 33 100%ed. Must get all the b*tches.

+rep this guy is like super cool and would treat your dad & brothers well.

-rep loser

I’ll tell you a secret, something I’ve never told you before, and then you’ll tell me one. And whoever tells the best secret wins. Okay? When I was your age I’d just started masturbating and I’d only just started ejaculating. Only a little, barely a drop. I was worried that I had some kind of problem because at school I’d heard all sorts of stories. Then one day when my father had had a lot to drink and my brothers were out and he was sleeping in the bedroom, I crept inside, put my hand on his penis and started stroking it until he ejaculated. The sheets got covered in sperm. I got scared and ran out. I’ve never told anybody that before. Now it’s your turn to tell me a secret.