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4,329 people found this review helpful
8,225 people found this review funny
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Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 78.3 hrs on record (31.6 hrs at review time)
Posted: Feb 13, 2018 @ 1:54am
Updated: Feb 13, 2018 @ 1:56am

on my first quest i was told to get some tools back from the town drunk.

i broke into his house to try to steal them back, but the chest was locked.

i tried to find the guy who sells lockpicks but gave up on that and decided to try a different way.

i went back and just started punching the man, and was forced to run for my life after realizing he has the hands.

i went to some womans home and knocked her unconscious and stole her onions, then sold the onions to buy charcoal for my father.

i then used the rest of the gold to go to the tavern and get drunk, thinking that it would up my speech enough to convince my fellow drunk to give the tools back.

i did not take into account that people do not want to talk after you punch them, and he quickly ran to a guard and i was thrown into jail.

i then burned to death in jail and had to restart.

this was the tutorial.
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157 Comments
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willemhendrickx1979 Oct 18, 2024 @ 6:18pm 
i was scrolling on YouTube shorts and this review came up and i laughed so hard, i had to see if it was true and shure enough, here it is. i gave it the highest award
Maulmere Aug 30, 2024 @ 12:51pm 
You'd only see this kind of shit in a Sseth video.
heyryan5 Jan 12, 2021 @ 6:03pm 
I was surprised by the drunk swinging like Tyson in his prime but the way you said it was legendary!!!!
Pickle Bath Jun 16, 2020 @ 7:11am 
The best part was after all the hassle trying to get the tools back you realize you could sell the 3 blocks of cheese on your mom's plate in the starting house for more than enough gold to buy the charcoal.
Lansseaux Jul 27, 2019 @ 12:16am 
"was forced to run for my life after realizing he has the hands." I have no fucking idea why that made me laugh so hard but it did.

"i did not take into account that people do not want to talk after you punch them" good life lessons to take into account.
Stalker Mar 29, 2019 @ 7:18pm 
like i always say if a movie has morgan freeman or densal washington in it, it's a good movie.

if a game has a tutorial which you can fail by getting flat out drunk and thrown in jail for punching people.............. it's a good game!
EM3ʸᵉᵉᵗ Oct 20, 2018 @ 11:48am 
if things can get this shitfaced in a tutorial then you know its a good game
Brasso Mar 3, 2018 @ 7:11pm 
LMAO i did the same things when i first started lol
DJ SorUwU Mar 2, 2018 @ 4:17am 
Something tells me this is the real reason why Giant Bomb's staff didn't want to review this game.

Oh well, nothing of value was lost. The players experiences speak for themselves. I'm actually going to do something that is rare of me: buy a game full price, and this is the game
Call-Me-PJ Feb 28, 2018 @ 11:18am 
Nice:steamhappy: