Recent reviews by reese's piece of shit

Dropped a giant donkey, killing two of my friend's worms and prompting him to swear at me for like five minutes straight.

An earlier review I wrote of this game was just a table-flipping emote, but honestly, that's not the whole game.
Table-flipping, while entertaining, is overrated.
The real fun of the game comes from actually playing the games, or trying to and failing miserably due to the fact that it's a physics-based tabletop game simulation.
You'll often be fumbling around with specific parts due to the controls, or having your friends toss your stuff off the table randomly, or have the admin spawn unrelated parts which someone then swings around. These may seem like bad things. They are, but they make the game so much more enjoyable.

At the same time, you can actually play serious games of things like chess, checkers, etc and have more fun than you would playing them in just about any other video game.

Just get it. It's beautiful.

If you like building stuff this game is really good.

9/10 it's okay

FIRST I WHIP IT OUT
THEN I THRUST IT
WITH
GREAT
FORCE

EVERY ANGLE
IT PENETRATES

UNTIL, WITH GREAT STRENGTH
I RAM IT IN

IN THE END
WE ARE ALL SATISFIED
AND YOU ARE SET FREE

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Deus Ex is my favorite video game of all time.

You play as JC Denton, a man whose body was augmented with nanomachines. He works for an anti-terrorist organization called UNATCO, and is sent on various missions. However, everything is not as it seems.
I don't want to spoil the story, so I'll just leave it at that.

The gameplay is brilliant. Typically, there are multiple ways you can go about doing any given task. In the first level alone, you can kill the NSF terrorists, or simply sneak past them. Get the code, disable the security, and go in through the front door, or sneak in through a back entrance. Save Gunther, or skip out on doing so. The first level isn't as good as I'm making it out to be, though - it's honestly one of this game's flaws.

Speaking of flaws, the game's AI and graphics haven't held up well since its initial release, and the voice acting is... to say the least, pretty bad. Certain sidequests in the game feel unrewarding (with one of them not even rewarding you properly at all, due to a bug.) The weapons aren't very balanced, with the default pistol, GEP gun, and a certain melee weapon I won't spoil the existence of being incredibly overpowered.

The game's narrative and storytelling are both incredible by video game standards. It's full of twists and hidden details (a plot-important NPC makes a brief, difficult-to-spot cameo very early on), a lot can be learned about the game's lore from reading notes lying around, hacking into people's computers and reading their email, and just talking to everyone you see. The game does a good job of building its world through the dialogue of random, otherwise unimportant NPCs. Honestly, I wish modern gaming could do things like this. Even the prequel, Human Revolution, didn't get it quite right - Every single NPC feels the need to talk about current events, augmentation, et cetera, whereas the original tended to focus more on other things.

On top of all this, the replay value is absolutely insane! Every time you play through the game, things can go very different from the last. Each time, you'll often find things you didn't know existed in your previous playthrough. There are so many ways to play through it that it's worth it to just try everything at least once!

Honestly, this game is one of the few I would give a 10/10 rating to. Everyone needs to play this game at least once.

BE WARNED: To play this game on modern systems, you will need to get a patch called Deus Exe. This can be obtained here: http://kentie.net/article/dxguide/ Without it, the game will crash on startup.

DAY AFTER DAY YOUR HOME LIFE'S A WRECK THE POWERS THAT BE JUST BREATHE DOWN YOUR NECK