"Well howard, I made it, despite your history."
"Ah, Gaming community, welcome! I hope you are ready for an unforgettable presentation?"
"mmyeh."
Gasp
" Oh e gods! My morality is ruined!"
"Hmm."
"What if I were to port a seven year old game and disguise it as a remaster?"
"Oh ho ho ho ho. Delightfully devlish howard!"
"H- uh?"
"Howard!"
"Oh- Oh, gaming community, I was just beta testing the remaster on pc. Care to join me?"
"Why is there smoke coming out of your development team's room howard?"
"Uuuh, ooh.That isnt smoke. Thats just steam. Steam from all the work we are putting in for the remaster! Mmm, remasters."
Phew
"Gaming community, I hope you are ready for a mouth watering port?"
"I thought we were getting a remaster?"
"Dooh no, I said we were remastering the port. Thats what I call a properly made port!"
"You call a properly made port a "Remastered port?"
"Yes, It's a developers dialect."
"uh huh."
"What developers?"
"Engine coders."
"Really, well I'm an engine coder and I have never heard anyone use the phrase "Remastered port."
"Oh noo, not a normal engine coder expression. It's an Bethesda™ engine coder expression."
"Ah I see."
"You know, this remastered port's bugs are quite similar to the ones on the old version."
"Oh ho ho no, patented remastered port. Built from the ground up!"
"For Skyrim™?
"Yes"
"Yes, and you call it a remastered port despite the fact that it is obviously worse?"
Gulps
"Eh-"
"You know the-"
"One thing I should-"
"Excuse me for one second."
"Of corse."
Walks to the studio to see the team already making a switch port
Yawns
"Well, that presentation was wonderful."
"Good time was had by all but I'm pooped."
"Yess I should be go- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?"
"Remastered™ Switch™ port."
"A- a switch port? In 2018? For a 2011 game? At a $60 price tag?"
"Yes"
"...Can we mod it?"
"No"
"Howard! The game wont load on pc anymore!"
"No ma, it's a switch port."
"Well howard, you are an odd fellow, but we will still buy your 7 year old game."